Finding My Real Daddy

Father’s day is here once again.  To me this is the day that the little girl inside wants to come out and sit at her Daddy’s feet and conjuring up memories that I invented on my own.  I imagined them.  I longed for a Dad that I could cuddle up on his lap and feel that total trust I had seen between Dad’s and daughters throughout my life time.  Or at least that is what I thought I was looking at.  But we never know one’s story do we?

I remember the toddler days of being a happy little girl with fat rosy cheeks who adored her Daddy.  He delighted in me and we swam together and played together and I was always on his lap.  He would tell me that I had beautiful blue eyes and they would twinkle just for him.  He was my hero.  Daddy worked in the oil fields and, according to my Mother, was a real “John Wayne” type.  I had his blue eyes, and when I looked at him, it was with adoration and trust.  That trust would soon turn to fear and confusion as my world exploded in incest.  You see, at the age of 7 my Dad began molesting me and continued for the next 5 years.  It took me 40 years to reconcile myself to the fact that I had a Dad, but he wasn’t the one who would bring me the comfort a little girl wants from her Daddy.

I write about this not too pleasant subject (an understatement) because every year on Father’s Day I meet so many people who never had a Dad.  At least not one who walked the walk of a real Daddy.  We don’t address this pain because it is easier not too and we get those uncomfortable looks of pity when you say you never had an earthly Dad you really feel like honoring;  Or to spoil someone else’s joy at celebrating their Dad on that day.  Most of the time we just shove down the pain and never talk about it.  But know you are not alone this time of the year if you didn’t have a Dad you are proud of.  God knows your pain and He promises to be your everything.  He has become that to me, so I know it is possible.  Let that be your hope.

The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.  Psalm 103:13 NLT

I determined as I grew and healed over the years that I would begin a new generation of honoring those I knew deserved it on Father’s day.  So, for my sons and husband and honorable family members I usually go overboard in honoring them for their unique ways of ministering to the families children throughout the year.  And more important I have learned that my true Father loves me with an unconditional love that I truly can say, “Abba, Daddy” too.

 So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”  Romans 8:15 NLT

He is the best Father there is.   It has always been hard to relate to Him, however, as a Father because I had nothing to go on intellectually when imagining Him as totally trust worthy.  But I had no problem at all with crawling up in the lap of Jesus and putting my head on his shoulder and letting Him breathe life into me.  I felt guilty about Jesus being my Dad as well as my best friend until this scripture became revelation to me.  Jesus speaking:

 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:7 NIV

Knowing and loving Jesus is all we need.  He can fill every place of emptiness in our inner man with Himself if we allow Him too.  So, celebrate Father’s day with Jesus this Sunday.  And celebrate with those who truly have loved ones they can honor on this day as a Dad should be honored.  And if you are an honorable and dedicated Dad celebrate yourself for a job well done!  It will pay many dividends throughout your generation and those to come.   Happy Father’s Day.