Take Another Trip Around Mt. Sinai…Til’ You’ve Learned Your Lesson

Mt SinaiIf you have been following my personal walk of Kingdom living you know that I have been on a rather tedious journey of trying to figure out what in the world is happening in my life.   Our lives have slowly waned as Private Investigators in our state due to the many cut backs and changes indicative to changing times in the nation.  We have been in a wilderness of experiencing in the natural our income pretty much stopping except for a few trickles of work sporadically.   In 2011 our house was foreclosed and sold within a few days time; before we even knew what hit us.  You can find that story in the archives, (A Sure Dwelling Place). http://reflectionsofgracehome.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/a-secure-dwelling-place/

For a while I waited for a breakthrough in the way I thought it should happen.   Of course, I thought work would come pouring in one day and God would get all the glory.  

It didn’t happen that way.

I wanted to go back to the way we lived before the dirge.  I wanted security.   It took me a while to realize I wanted the  only security that I knew in the natural realm, a job for my husband, a secure home, insurance, retirement…you know, all those things that when there, you don’t have to be thinking about it every day.

And wondering.

All the while these things were happening God was supplying our needs through various and sundry ways.  Sometimes we would just look at one another and shrug because we didn’t even know how it happened.

Provision, that is.

Then I finally got it.   This is the life God has been calling me too.  I would never have taken that step off the cliff if I hadn’t been forced to by circumstances. Would you?

A life of not worrying about where our provisions are coming from but of just resting and enjoying the ride of watching Him work in a most profound way.

But guess what?  I can choose to live that way and enjoy the ride, and I can honestly say at this writing, that not once have we gone without, missed paying a bill, gone hungry, or even felt the heat.  God has supplied every need to the point that we are doing better than we have in a long time.

And you know what?  I have quit trying to tell Jesus how to do it.   My husband has started a Community Bible Study since we last ‘talked’ and I can see it is what he is meant to do.   Now, he has 2 studies going and he is out ministering every day to people.

And occasionally he does investigation.  Maybe 1 case every 4 months or so.

I now have my own podcast (e2medianetwork.com), a weekly women’s study, constantly writing and coaching with clients.  I tell you this because I was tempted so long to just give it up.  I tell you what I am doing so you will see that I didn’t give up and say, “Well, God, if you aren’t going to do this my way then I am not going to continue on in what I am doing.”

And just throw in the towel.  Seriously.

Why do all that work reaching people when my own life was so trying and destitute, I would ask myself?   But I didn’t give in to my fleshly, feel sorry for me, nature.

 

So here are my thoughts on the matter.

In all the years I have walked with God (40) the hugest growth periods I experienced through trials were always…HARD!!  EXCRUCIATING!!

He puts us in seasons where we have two choices. 

1.Give up!!  Curse God and die.

2.Or we decide to hold onto God for all we are worth, and to His plan for our lives regardless of how hopeless it looks.

We “choose” to believe, even when we feel lost and alone. Or, we “choose” to give into our weaknesses….do what?

If we choose to give into our weaknesses and whine and cry and run away, then count on taking a few more trips around Mt. Sinai, until you see the faithfulness of God was there all the time.

This is what grows us up.   I can’t even tell you how many trips around that mountain I took until I entered the promised land.  I AM in the promised land now, even when I can’t see it. 

Why?

Because I am not fighting God anymore for my own way.  You have watched my growth right here.

Faith is not something we produce or muster up to manipulate God.  He wins our faith because He wins our trust by showing us how He is working in our lives.  We just need to open our eyes.1236314_578921625503723_1622453795_n

The more I trust Him the less I will react to trials by trying to solve the mysteries myself.  It is all about learning to lived loved by Him by just letting go, and finding sweet rest, before I see the manifestation of what I am believing for.  The more I let go the more I grow. 

And the more I trust.

9 thoughts on “Take Another Trip Around Mt. Sinai…Til’ You’ve Learned Your Lesson

  1. Well put Dixie. I have learned to trust in Jesus, I have learned to trust in God. That is the key to walking with our blessed Savior. His way….or my way? Your choice. Love, Greg

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  2. Wow Dixie, having walked on this journey with you through your posts and our many conversations, I can testify that you are telling the truth here. You have walked around in the wilderness, and you have been very honest and up front with it. Reading your blog is like reading your thought processes and your prayers and your wonderings and your realizations…and it helps us as we encounter similar things in our own lives. I am so proud of you…you just keep growing, not only spiritually, but in the way you minister to the world around you. What you are doing? Well, it’s never going to grow moss or rust…it will last forever.

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  3. Wow, Dixie, for some reason I never knew you are a wp’er!
    I loved this and it is so true. And as times get tougher and tougher, we’ll see who knows it and who does not. Bless you for your candidness, here. :)
    Following now.

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  4. “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be THY name. THY KINGDOM come, THY WILL be done, on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us THIS day, our DAILY bread. Forgive us OUR trespasses, AS WE forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for THINE is the KINGDOM and the GLORY, FOREVER, AND EVER. AMEN.”
    If only we could get our finite minds to comprehend the breadth, and depth, and height of our Father’s infinite love, our faith…rooted in trust and and belief… would shake the earth to it’s foundation one heart at a time. 1 John tells us God is love and that perfect love casts out fear. God is reclaiming His bride by teaching us to trust in Him as our everything and remind us there is no security to be found in the world and it’s people, including those we love. Our strength, comes from the Lord. It’s one thing to believe Jesus is real. Satan knows more than we. It’s another…to make Him OUR LORD AND SAVIOR. In my 28 years in this earth, you and your husband have been the finest examples of trusting servants of God that I’ve seen yet. Thank you for not giving up.

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