Chapter Twenty Four: Surrender

I have found that people who truly know how to  live in God’s love are honest to the core.  They are transparent and not worried about looking ‘spiritual’.  They are at peace with God’s transformational work in them, knowing he has done wonderful things, and yet, they are fully aware that his work is not done. They are honest in weakness and the same people in private as they project in public.  I can truly say that this process of writing my story with complete honesty has been healing and freeing for me at the same time.  We all have a story.  Our freedom to share it will only set others free who think they are alone in their walk.  One chapter left after this one on surrender.  Happy reading!!!

With entering another new season of rest with the Lord I began to feel as if I was being urged towards something new and I wasn’t sure what it was.  At the time I was seemingly becoming obsessed with my kids and family and losing focus on what Jesus wanted to do with me now.  I began to learn about surrendering all to Him;  true surrender.  I mean really letting go of those worries and anxieties that seem to plague us even when we know it doesn’t help the situation along.   Have you ever been unable to sleep at night due to obsessing over your children or loved ones?  As I grew in revelation of what it means to really let go of something to God a newfound feeling emerged in my spirit that He wasn’t through with me yet; not by a long shot.  In fact, is He ever?

As I spent more and more time with Jesus I became even more determined to really press into His promises.  I realized I could speak the words all I wanted but until I pressed into finding out how to apply those promises they are just words.   Those words become power in the mouth of any believer who is serious about them working in their life.  I learned to  picture my worry or anxiety, whatever it was, in the palms of my hands as I cupped them together.   I would then see Jesus come up behind me and stretch His arms to encircle mine and to rest his cupped hands just below mine.  I would then open my hands and let that person, or whatever it was I was obsessed with worrying about,  drop into His capable hands.  He would then look lovingly at me and turn and walk away with my burden resting in His hands.   What a rush that is!  What joy filled my soul!  I would actually feel the tension leave me as He walked away.  My cares would now be taken care of in the best possible way.  No amount of fretting on my part would fix the situation anyway.  How can we fix other people?  We can’t.  It is His job.  Not ours.  We don’t know the heart of others.  Only he has the wisdom to know what will fix our concerns from the inside out.  It is our heritage to walk free of fear and walk in His light and freedom.  In Matthew 11:30 it says regarding Jesus: 

For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light”.

I have always believed that if we are to believe what the bible says about us we have to know it actually works and is something we can apply to our everyday life.  Jesus says fear is not of Him.  So, it must mean there a way to learn to walk free of fear.  We have to press into His promises.  If we are born again we possess the mind of Christ.  But we have to apply what His word says about us and let this revelation be truth to us.  Don’t give up.  Start applying the scriptures, meditating on them and learn of His ways and His grace.  Reading His word every day is life giving.   True transformation begins in our hearts.  We go from practicing religion to living inside a relationship with God.  It is not an organizational battle,  it is a personal one and it is what makes the difference from having the form of being religious and truly walking daily with a living, personal God and having your needs met.  This walk is attainable for all of us.

I have found freedom from those lies that were told me about my weight all those years from my past.  Recognizing through God’s word that I am His precious daughter and I am accepted in His eyes I believe those lies spoken over me as a child regarding my size had become a voice inside my mind for years– until I saw that they had constructed a strong-hold in my life.  I believed what the voice in my mind said to me without even questioning it as children so often do.  So as I matured I struggled with my weight constantly.  I could not get a handle on why until I saw it was a stronghold satan had used my mother’s voice to torment me with every waking moment.  It was all lies.  In this realization I was able then to reprogram my mind and cast down those thoughts and beliefs that were spoken to me most of my life, and replace them with what the word says is my value in Jesus, my creator. 


Satan has no power unless we give it to him.  The fact that all the power that raised Jesus from the dead was also given to me when I received Him into my life was a new revelation when I realized I could use that power in my thought life.   I used it to reconstruct in my mind a true picture of myself in His eyes and learned how to gain control over my body and become healthier; not only in the way I saw myself but truly healthier weight wise.  When the old tendencies start to rear their head in the way I feel about myself I cast them down from my thought life and replace the old tormenting thoughts with the truth.  We shall know the truth and the truth will set us free.  It is the difference in waiting on Him while resting in the here and now and trusting that when He wants you somewhere else He will move you to that end.

I had always known I had the gift of counsel and had been used on countless occasions in my journey to help others.  It really proved out when I was facilitating the support groups for childhood victimizations.  I learned in my tenure of facilitating those groups the absolute power of the Holy Spirit and His unique ability to zero right in on the root of the problem and bring light into the dark places.  Sometimes while facilitating those groups I felt so inadequate within myself in how to respond to the horrible, overwhelming stories that would come to light as the trust grew in the groups.   I would cry out to the Lord as to what I should say and how did He want me to proceed.  I learned through necessity to step back and allow Holy Spirit to flood my understanding and I would be simply astonished at what would come out of my mouth.  I was the first to tell you I felt totally unequipped within my own understanding as to how to help these women.  I grew in ability to listen to the Holy Spirit over the years as I conducted the groups.  Again and again Holy Spirit would break through the pain in these women and bring them to freedom.  This was taught to me in that season in order to be used again in a future season of becoming a Life Coach.

I was always saying to people that I missed my calling by not going to school and becoming a psychologist.  I was still living as a victim at that time when I could have gone to school. I had no self esteem to believe I would ever do anything worth while in this world.  One day I distinctly heard Jesus say to my spirit that I wasn’t to say that again.  Did I not believe that He could make a way where there was no way?  Did I really believe He could do the impossible?

Not long after that a friend asked me if I had ever heard of Life Coaching.  I immediately felt a tug on my spirit when she said it.  As I began my research into Life Coaching I was amazed to learn I could actually become certified to coach people in the most amazing ways on a personal basis and use my gift to fulfill what He had called me to do.  And that is exactly what I did as I sought out an institute and began my training.  In a short while God proved to me once again that there is nothing impossible for Him.  Every step along my journey had prepared me for the ministry I have today of reaching others at the point of their need and I get to assist the Holy Spirit in touching their very hearts.  Abandonment, incest, spiritual abuse, one’s own child being abused,  and trust violation, were all a part of my story now, but only in the sense that I can tell others that I am free of it all and they can be too.  I am a living testimony.  What a privilege! 

When we start to realize that God is involved with every aspect of our lives and is acutely aware of every step we take because He has a plan, then we can rest in the spot we are in until  that plan is revealed.  Every negative trial and painful thing we have experienced throughout our lives is something He can use you in to comfort others and to show them they will and can make it with the Father’s help.   He didn’t cause those things to happen to us, but He uses our experience to set others free.  The plan of the enemy is then defeated for he always means to destroy us in any way he can.  The Father wants to use us to reach others who have experienced the same things we have.   He has prepared us through the school of life’s experiences to be exactly who we are.  He made a way for us to be free of the past and move forward right into His plan for our lives.

Father is looking for people who are seeking to follow the Living Christ. He wants to be the center of their lives, their affections and their conversations. He wants His people to step out of their religious boxes and be authentic to free others.  We are family in His body and we all hurt when one hurts.  We all rejoice at others victories.  We are free to follow his voice without others accusing us of being divisive or rebellious.  There are so many in need within the body of Christ, His church. When we become so materially focused on buildings and prestige we miss the whole reason why we are even there.  This new place is a place where we all sit together and instead of watching those who we think are more “spiritual” than others we all can participate, using our individual gifts and callings, while the whole process is divinely ordained and directed by Holy Spirit.   

Everything we learn from Him will be through his absolute and unconditional love.  When we believe in His love, because He is love itself, we know that all of His plans for us are for absolute good and not for evil.  Everything he wants to do in you will get done as you learn to live in his love. We mess up trying to fill up broken places, those holes in our hearts, the empty dry places .  We try to fill that emptiness with even seemingly good things instead of allowing him intimate access to our hearts. Once you discover and have revelation of how much he loves you all that changes.  As you grow in trusting him, you will find yourself increasingly free from doubt because you are filling those empty places with Him.  He is the only One who can satisfy.   Sometimes we have to go through the desert many times and with each trial we grow more and more into His image.  He created us with a free will and will not force Himself upon us.  But He will be there waiting for you every time until you are ready to surrender yourself to Him.  Isn’t it sad that many in the body of Christ think they can pressure people into spiritual change instead of helping them grow to trust Father more and find Him changing them? 



2 thoughts on “Chapter Twenty Four: Surrender

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