The story continues of the journey through the maze of our house being sold out from under us by the bank. If you haven’t read Part 1, please read it before progressing to Part 2. The outcome of this journey is almost over and I know that God is going to get all the glory from a year of standing in faith.
We are getting close to the next sale date and no word from the bank whatsoever. As far as we know they are still working on the modification for they have assured us that no auction will take place on this home until we are either accepted or rejected by the bank. We were told that it was still under review. We felt the reprieve though our phone continues to ring from the collection department demanding money that would not go towards the house. We were counseled to not pay them anything as it goes into a deep hole and will benefit us nothing. So, we just ignore the calls, thanks to caller ID. I have such a confidence that God is in control and I imagined on the last day it would all come through and we would be off the hook.
Then on December 8, 2011 we get a call from our counselor. She wanted to let us know that all the time they told us the modification was being assessed they had done nothing. It just sat there on their desks. No one cared or tried to stop the sale of our home. It was all a stall to make themselves look good, (my assessment). She went on to say she could not stop the impending auction and that our house would go up for sale the next day!! What? Tomorrow? Just like that they were selling our home. Unbelievable. I wondered through the house like a zombie. I felt a grief I hadn’t felt before. I felt the loss as if it had already happened–Letting go again.
December 8, 2011: Well, Lord, this is now my tomorrow. The modification didn’t go through. The auction is tomorrow. We have heard there is already a bid in for our home. OUR home. The home that you gave us will be someone else’s home tomorrow. Do I even need to understand this? I have last minute panic. Bankruptcy to stop the auction? On the last day? Should we have obtained an attorney? Did we wait foolishly? Were we naïve? This is it, Lord. My faith is faltering. Or am I just having last minute jitters because it is down to the wire. I sit here in the only home I have ever owned and look at my yard, waterfall, flowers, fireplace, furniture, carpet, walls, and kitchen. All material things. But so many memories of grandchildren growing up. I wonder did I ever really surrender it all to you. If I did why am I crying and grieving now? Why do I feel pain? Yet, I know that even in this hour a miracle can occur. Give me faith, patience and steadfastness Lord in my hour of trial. You are more than able to deliver us.
Jesus says: Hang on because it is not over yet. I am still working. I have not changed. I knew this was coming and I have made provisions for you already.
December 9, 2011: The sharks are circling our home. Back and forth the cars go slowly in front of my house; Investors, heading for the auction at the Santa Barbara courthouse one hour away. Never have I felt that kind of spiritual battle. I can’t explain it but I remembered the words of the Lord when he said to “hold onto your hat, the winds are blowing”. There was a mighty spiritual battle in the heavenlies that day I believe and the winds of adversity were surely blowing and I was hanging on to my spiritual hat. Yesterday when the call came to inform us that the banks have done nothing with our modification in all this time and they are not stopping the auction we were speechless. Today is the auction. At 1 pm exactly, a stranger will be selling my house!! And it happened just like that. Our house sold within the hour.
So, what is next Lord? I feel the spiritual activity with the drive by lookie loos and the staring into my house. I know the Lord is on our side. Upon hearing the news yesterday we were told we could file a quickie bankruptcy to stop the auction. Why, we asked, would God tell us to scramble around in fear and file bankruptcy, when in reality all that would do is stop the auction for another 60 days. We have been doing this for a year. No more. Why would we panic now at the last minute and do anything? We decided against the scrambling in fear but to wait on the Lord. This is the word the Lord gave to Greg out of Chronicles and Exodus.
You shall not need to fight in this battle; take your positions, standstill, and see the deliverance of the Lord [Who is] with you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Fear not nor be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you. Moses told the people, Fear not; stand still (firm, confident, undismayed) and see the salvation of the Lord which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians you have seen today you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest.
A guy knocks on the door 2 hours before the auction. He says he is buying my house and would I be interested in buying it back from him? Hope? I say, yes, of course, even though it seems totally weird that I would have to buy the home that I have already owned for 12 years. I gave him my card and he left. He called back an hour later to say he checked with the banks and they said when a house has been foreclosed you can’t buy again for 3 years because you can’t get a bank to finance you. Well, that was like a carrot dangling in front of my face only to be snatched back. I could almost hear the hideous cackling of the devil at his little joke. Well, we will see who wins now devil. Smoke and mirrors is what he is. A liar! Now, he has made me just plain angry.
The winds are indeed blowing. I’m holding onto my hat.
That evening a woman shows up at our door to tell us our house has sold. Two days later I am still reeling in shock and slowly beginning to realize that on paper this home is no longer mine. I have no words. I just want to sleep. When I feel this way I have learned to keep my mouth shut as the enemy doesn’t need any more fuel, and he isn’t a mind reader. He can only use what comes out of our mouths. The battle is raging
December 11, 2011: Lord, I know that you have said something has to die to be reborn into newness, and from all outward appearances it looks like what we do in this home is dying. I had lost everything in my life 15 years ago and it birthed me into this period. Now, I have to do it again? I don’t understand. It must die to bring rebirth; to accomplish your goals. Not only in our lives, but the lives of the countless people who are praying and standing with us for your will with this house. I feel as if I am moving around under water. Trying not to be dramatic.
Profoundly, the Lord’s peace descends on me again. It is beyond understanding because I really know that whatever happens it will be for our good.
Two days ago friends put us in contact with a very capable forensic investigator of fraudulent documents who informed us we have a case against Bank of America and we should fight. This didn’t mean that we would be able to stay necessarily, but possibly. As she talked she uncovered what this would mean to us. The next 2 to 3 years would be spent fighting attorneys, the bank, and judges to uncover this travesty that so many people are going through at the same time as us. Our lives would be consumed with it. Though we know she is right we both felt extreme anxiety at the thought of our whole lives taken up to fight for this house. Was it really worth all that it would take from us? Would we ever be the same? How could we serve God in the same capacities if our time is devoted to justice over being treated wrongly?
December 18, 2011
Lord, today is your day. I’m feeling not so good physically. Tired. Worn out. My own fault for not allowing myself to eat good things. You are my strength-my song-I so long for the house saga to be over. Why can’t it just be over? Are we still needing to learn something in all of this? Raise up a warrior, Lord. Raise up someone to fight for us. Let that person be revealed. It is a simple thing to you to bring about your purposes. I look at the families of the world who live in card board boxes, and shacks to live in– People who are cold all the time with no coverings. I think of the Holocaust and how the Jews suffered. And I am thankful for where I am today. For today I have a roof over my head. For today I have my house. It is all about you Lord. You must increase within me and I must decrease.
Five days before Christmas and the only report we have received is that our home’s title deed has not been turned over to the investor as yet. It is still in our name. We don’t know what this means, but maybe the Lord needed more time for His workers to get it all in order. This story will have an ending at some point. But I have a feeling something really huge is going to happen.
December 25, 2011
Happy Birthday Lord! I love you and thank you for giving your life on this earth so I can live with you forever. Trying to focus on today only. I wish I could say our house was miraculously given back to us but that is not the case. We are beginning to talk about moving in case that is your plan. Boy, my flesh is sure weak with that one. I flat out don’t want the hassle of moving into another house. We looked around yesterday. Big mistake. Merry Christmas to me! Do I detect a pity party in my tone? Sarcasm? Sorry—today I just want it all to go away. It feels like some kind of nightmare today. Not sure. Give me strength, joy, and patience for today. It can only come from You. My life just isn’t random. It is all planned out. Help that drop into my heart today. I have you, Jesus.
As a present to ourselves we took a 3 day trip to Carmel by the Sea to get away right after Christmas. The whole way there we listened to songs by Psalmist, Kathy Wilson. One of the songs says that love (God) is never too late. Never. When Lazarus died his sisters thought Jesus was too late and were in despair. But when Jesus arrived he raised Lazarus from the dead. He wasn’t too late. The children of Israel thought that God was too late when they arrived at the banks of the Red Sea and that they were lost for sure. But God parted the Red Sea and they obtained safe passage. God was not too late. God is not too late in our present trial either. Even with our home selling to another person at this late stage of the journey, God will not be late in performing His miracles in our lives.
It is now December 29, 2011, and we have an appointment with our buyer’s representative this afternoon. Greg seems to be at an all point low today. He had work and it was cancelled after driving two hours for his appointment for interviews with claimants. Today we find out our fate at this stage of the game. So, everything is looking pretty bleak and I am trying to support him, but it seems I can only maintain my own faith at this time. I truly still have a peace that it will all work out somehow. The Lord never said to me in all of my communications with Him that we would indeed remain in this house. So, in an effort to stay positive I have actually gone out to look at homes today that were listed. I am willing to move forward in whatever the Lord’s purposes are. It definitely seems darkest before the dawn. The problem I have here is that I still don’t know how long this darkness will last before we see light and direction. He promises to not give us more than we can bear. I pray especially for my husband this day to see that he is stronger than he thinks he is. I pray he can readily forgive our system in this country and the lack of truth and integrity at the top of the ladder of Bank of America. They are not our God.