Being falsely accused of something that you know is simply not true is so hard to endure, isn’t it? We want to convince our accusers we are not the people they are saying we are. We want to defend ourselves. We want to be validated by those that love us to offset the ugly words thrown at us.
After being unjustly blamed of something that I am not even capable of doing , I was blindsided by an open attack on my character. While still trying to decide if I should try to defend myself I began realizing that I didn’t have to. Jesus is my defense. Sometimes when we speak truth into a situation, those who enjoy control don’t want to hear it. I am a truthful person and I am confrontive if I know I need to be. It has a lot to do with how we do it, I suppose. But sometimes, even if we do it in the kindest of ways, it just doesn’t matter if the person has set their heart against you. And controlling people want to stay in their delusions. A few weeks back I wrote an article about toxic people. Then I was tested on what I wrote. Sometimes it is revealed all at one moment those you can trust and those you can’t. It leaves you reeling in shock. This recent attack on my character came out of nowhere.
“But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken”! Is. 54:17
This is what I have realized. Many people live in a world of smoke and mirrors and prefer to stay there. Not everyone wants our help in uncovering truth in their lives. I was asked a simple question and I gave an answer that was more truthful than the person wanted to hear and wrath was unleashed into accusations, multiple ugly emails, and slander. The hard part was that it was in an instant and thus such a shock. I thought this person was a friend.
When Jesus was accused so many times He answered them not a word. I need to do the same. If someone is set against you, whatever you say to them will be turned around anyway. What is walking in the love of God with them? I see four steps to walk out of the toxicity and to following Jesus in this area.
1. Remain kind and always forgive. Remember forgiving does not mean that what they have done is okay. It means you release them to God and you aren’t held captive by your grudge or hurt against them.
2. Don’t defend yourself. Pray for reconciliation but trust that He knows what is best for you.
3. Examine your own heart to make sure you have been upright and not self serving.
4. Let Jesus soothe those hurt feelings and realize He was treated the same way when He so didn’t deserve it.
Walking in God’s kind of love is not enabling people to continue to be unkind to you and it is not putting up with their attacks. It is walking away, forgiving and giving them to God. They have violated your trust. Trust has to be earned.
“Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble. Matt. 5