My father received Christ today.
The day after I wrote my last blog, “I don’t want Him to go to Hell, Supernatural Forgiveness” Greg went to visit my dad. Somehow I always knew that Greg would be the one to do it. Greg and my Grandpa were kindred spirits.
The whole story of Greg and Grandpa is in my book, Climbing Out of the Box.
It is profound to me that my whole growing up life Grandpa told me that he knew that dad would be ‘saved’ one day and he would see him in heaven. I thought what great faith Grandpa must have because my dad was totally anti-God in all of his ways, and a child molester. At least he molested me and my little girl. Another whole story you can find in my book.
Dad used to threaten me when he would see my yearning to know God by telling me all the things he wouldn’t let me do if I became ‘religious’. He saw Christianity as a big list of “don’ts and works”. So, as a young girl, I was terrified of becoming a freak because if I served Jesus dad would make me always wear dresses, never wear makeup or cut my hair….it was so ridiculous. But this was how he controlled me.
I secretly talked to Jesus all the time back then. But I never told him.
Dad was a self made man full of pride and control and believed that molesting girls wouldn’t hurt them when they grew up…at least that is what he said when I finally confronted him, as I was finally forced out of denial at my finding out that he did it to my daughter as well.
I was afraid of him, yet all the way through my life I struggled with whether I cared about him or not. He was never invited to our home after I was out of denial, so my mother decided to stay with him rather than get to know her great grandchildren. They never knew her, really, and she lived 10 minutes away. Nor, would they ever know him.
Whenever I would see him he was a fixture in the room to me. I was so removed from him and had no feeling towards him.
But then my mother died 6 months ago, and as I said in the last blog, God revealed to me that she had accepted Christ as a young girl, and though she didn’t live for him nor was there any fruit, she still went to heaven. They had been married 62 years.
And the rest of how today came about is in the last blog. Greg went to see him. Dad wanted to know how to receive Christ. Greg shared with him for a few hours uncovering the plan of salvation…..and then Dad broke and wept before the Lord and asked Jesus to come into his life. Amazing!!!!!!!
So, this is my message today.
You may look at my story, read my book, and think how I could ever want him to go to the same Heaven I will be living in one day. Why don’t I want him to go to Hell? Why don’t I want him to suffer for what he has done to my life and my little girl’s life?
I am here to tell you there is grace that goes beyond our understanding. You may not need grace in this same manner so it is hard to imagine why I would even care. I don’t even understand it. But when you find yourself in the middle of this kind of horror, you find His grace and unconditional love that in the natural is impossible, if you are willing to give the reins to God.
All I know is that God’s love has been poured out into my heart erupting into forgiveness for this man who changed the course of my entire life.
I can see him through God’s eyes. Not from the victim’s eyes.
I can rejoice along with Grandpa in heaven that a sinner has come home. I can see the reunion in heaven with the rest of his family now– all there…I can see it in the spirit.
I can freely love and let God have his way with no resentment. This is a miracle. This is a wondrous thing.
God’s word does not return void. It accomplishes all that He intended it to do no matter what the circumstance nor how deep the hole we fall into nor how long it takes.
It is too late for a reconciliation with my father to replace what I never had, nor do I expect that. I found my need met many years ago by Jesus and my love for God as my Father. That opportunity is gone and I am not looking for anything more, but if you think about it, this world is our temporary home. Forgiven and free of earthly sin I believe in eternity we become what God always meant for us to be before sin separated us from Him.
That is why Jesus went to the cross, folks. To give us access to God and freedom from a world of sin, to transform us all. He is not willing that any should perish.
In the natural my heart should be hard towards a man who violated me in the worst way as a child and robbed me and to my children of so much; and to my daughter, which hurt me more than myself, and changed her life forever as well.
But in the spirit I only feel joy that this man who was lost has now found his way home.
Only with God could this be so.
You can find the complete story of why this is such a miracle in “Climbing Out of the Box, My Journey Out of Sexual and Spiritual Abuse Into Freedom and Healing.” http://www.amazon.com/Climbing-Out-Box-Journey-Spiritual/dp/1478296852/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365005344&sr=1-1&keywords=climbing+out+of+the+box