The Gnawing Ache of Our Restless Discontentment

o-WOMAN-WRITING-facebookMy prayer:

“I’ve been in a slump Lord and wondering why I feel bored with my life and finally realizing the One I miss is You.  Interesting because I feel You with me all the time.  But You are teaching me that if I don’t take the time to sit and listen to You, my intimate needs of connecting with you will wane.

You are who I miss.  It is You I need. 

When I can’t put my finger on what I’m lacking, then I can always know it is You.  Oh, for the body of Christ to learn this truth!  There wouldn’t be so many needy people. 

So, here I am my Love.  I long for You in the deepest places.  In the depth of my soul. 

Fill my cup back up Lord.  Fill me up and make me whole.  Give me energy again, and health, and vitality.

Hope and vision.

Thank you for Your patience with me and your long-suffering.  Thank you also for the vision of me as an uncut diamond that You are in process of chiseling away the dark coal–which is causing the light of Yourself to shoot off of me in so many ways. 

Wow!  I can see it!

jesus-christ-widescreen-wallpapers-04As I waited on Him, He replied, Yes, my love it is about your depletion of me.  This is the next step of intimacy.  You already know that I walk with you every moment, but now you must remember that when you are feeling lonely, sad, bored, and have a lack of vision, it is me you are being called to connect with.

Your reserves are depleted when you give out of yourself so much of the time and you get distracted.  You forget to move all distractions out of the way and just sit with Me, so I can fill you up.

I am your very life line.

Instead of turning to everything else, including connecting with people, you must turn to Me.  If you do this, you will find your rest and peace and restored hope for the life I have called you too. 

diamond 2Yes, you are My diamond. The rays of My light shoot off of you as I have been chiseling away on everything that obscures my light.  This will continue to manifest more and more as you walk on in the face of the chiseling.  Your suffering for me has not gone unnoticed and your maturity in rising above the flesh in the many hardships you have faced has made Me delight over you with joy. 

Feel My smile, Dixie.

Feel My love, Dixie.

Feel My presence enveloping you, Dixie.

I love you!”

I have shared with you my most recent conversation with Jesus.  This came out of a time when I was needy and not realizing what it was I needed.

So I asked Him!

Do you stop and just ask Him what it is you need at those confusing moments?  Sometimes we just don’t even think about asking Him what our problem is.

Jesus sees you as His precious treasure…and He longs to have a close relationship with you.

1506500_619449268111523_2092771554_nMore than anything, He wants you to have an intimate love relationship and friendship with Him.  God wants you to spend time with Him and intimately communicate with Him, to enjoy fellowship with Him, to trust and follow Him, and to give your life meaning and purpose by giving you the privilege of joining Him in His life here on earth.

All of humanity, can be defined as a vast, gaping need.  Looking across the globe of this generation, we witness men and women, young and old, throwing themselves into entertainment, recreation, technology, food, music, friends, and a host of things as they grope for the answer to the riddle of why they are alive and seek to silence the screaming voice of yearning in their souls.   

has-gaming-lost-its-humanity-20110927075056174And throw in these troubling times of terror and the unknown of what we will face before we are taken out of here is gripping people with fear…and distracting them from the very One who can give them peace when our world is seemingly falling apart.

No matter how much we buy, who we know, or what fleeting pleasures we experience, we find that none of it can quench the insatiable thirst in the depths of our being.  So it is that day after day we go about panting and groaning for something that will satisfy the desires that dominate our inner man.

sadIt is in the gnawing ache of this restless discontentment so familiar to us all that the subject of intimacy with God finds its significance.

Intimacy is a word being thrown around a lot in our day, both inside and outside of the Church.

 Some of us are afraid of it.

 We all know that we want it because, on some level, we believe that only God can fill that void in our hearts.  Still, for most of us, we don’t know quite how to get it, and what it actually means when we’re referring to intimacy with God Himself.

We must realize that it is not just a certain way of speaking about God, nor is it merely a feeling we experience.

Intimacy with God consists of relational knowledge – we are most intimate with those whom we know at the deepest levels.  Jesus stands at the center of this pursuit because in His face we see the light of the knowledge of the glory of God, and that is what intimacy is really all about.

One of the most common disillusions relates to how He feels about you.  From years of various and sundry teachings born out of our organizational churches, deep inside we think that Jesus is mostly unemotional and distant, except for how disappointed He is with us – that is the one feeling many of us are convinced He does actually feel.

Yet, the truth is that His heart is full of love and desire for you.  This isn’t just an idea or a sweet sentiment, but a reality that He put on display in every moment of His life.

545570_417758148257124_357419294_n-1In drinking in the wild beauty of this Man, your soul will at last find its rest.  This is intimacy, and this is what you were created for – to enjoy and adore the splendor of His glory forever.

So forgetting what is behind, let us press on to know Him.

Change! The Word That Invokes Fear…

gods-willHow do I break this pattern in my life,” he asked.

You have to step out of your  comfort zone, that familiar, cozy place of dysfunction, and be willing to purposely change; make new  decisions.”  I coached.

With his head down, looking up at me, and a smile on his face, “Surely that should be easy, but I am afraid I will fail, ” he said.

Do you want to stay on this merry-go-round of failed relationships?”, I questioned.

circusOf course I don’t, but then again maybe, just maybe, I use these failed relationships as an excuse to stay where I am because I really don’t want to change“, he confessed.

“Wow, did I just say that?”, he continued.

And on it goes.  Do we really want to change or are we just making excuses to stay in that old comfortable place rather than venture into the virtual unknown with God?

Change is hard.  I think we can agree on that.  

I, personally, would rather try sleeping on a bed of nails than to change.  Even when I know it is what I am being asked to do by Jesus.

It is not an easy process and many times we fall flat on our face at our first attempts to make a change.

When you’re in the process of changing, sometimes you will fall back into old patterns and sometimes you’re going to lose your way and wonder why you’re trying in the first place.

So, here’s my reminder for you:

light and darknessOld stuff will come up.  What matters is you recognize them as old patterns.

Patterns that, if not broken, you will live in the rest of your life.

Before, you let these patterns run you – and you let them run you blindly–but now it takes a quality decision to focus on your goal for change.

Now that you see them, trust God to help you make the change.  Ask Him to remind you when you start to fall back.

Stuff will continue to come up.  Old patterns die hard.  But seriously do you want to live in the same spot the rest of your life?

Then we choose differently.

Trust the King who made you to guide you and show you how to surrender that part of yourself that even you don’t understand and help you to change your choices.

I believe in you.

Most of us can agree that at some point in the day, we come up against a battle.  The battle between what we know we truly want to do (what is from our soul) and what our weakness desires to do (from our fears/ego).

mind-clutterIt can be something simple that brings about this “everyday struggle”.  An everyday struggle can be the choice to eat that delish and healthy steamed veggies and fish dish vs. eating the processed junk food.  Or something perhaps more severe.

Perhaps your everyday struggle, is choosing that hit of the drug again versus going to that twelve step meeting.  Or choosing between shining or hiding your truth out of fear. 

Once we begin to perceive our struggles as opportunities for Jesus’ guidance, the struggles become opportunities to strengthen your faith even deeper in that particular area.

We all have an everyday struggle that we face. Paul said in Romans 7:15:

“I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.  Instead, I do the very thing I hate.  I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong…I often find that I have the desire to do good, but not the power.”

This resonated with me so much.  How many times have you had the desire to do good but felt you didn’t have the power to do it?

Verse 23 goes on to say, “But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.  Oh, what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?  Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.  So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.” 

On a day to day basis we come up against those fears of “do I have the power to do this?”  I discovered through my own journey, that when I comfort those fears with truth, the fears diminish and truth and courage rise.

What is that truth?  Love is more powerful than fear, always!

When a struggle or obstacle arises in our minds where the warfare takes place, I ask Jesus to: give me the strength to deal with this obstacle and struggle through His power and not my own.  I ask Him to give me the words, the energy, the actions to do this with confidence and love and peace.  Sometimes I am instantly filled with that power, and the revelation that I can lean into Him and He will be my strength and my guide in this journey of change.

If you stop fighting it, another plus emerges.  You begin to learn who you really are.  A divine daughter and son of the King of Kings and He is the one who propels you to great heights in the Spirit.

birdcageIn accepting and remembering who we truly are, we allow our smallness to diminish and our greatness in Him to really come forth.

Then, you can step out in  faith and in truth not in fear and insecurity.  Love does that.

You need not do anything to prove your worth, you simply are worthy.  How amazing is that?

In remembering these truths, you are filled with energy, confidence, purpose, and the strength to move through the struggle and the obstacle.  You are filled with all the power you need to continue to be willing to choose what is good for you.

Remember, you already have what you need.  All the love you desire is within you through His power.

Feel it, remember it, move with it.

All struggles are opportunities for you to practice remembering who you really are and how to step back from the wheel and turn it over to Him.  When you remember this truth, you are unstoppable, miracles flow, and everything becomes a beautiful journey with deeper growth and joy.

Today, remind yourself of who you already are. Strong, brave, powerful, divine.

Now go out there and change! 

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