Lost Something? 5 Sure Ways to Find It, Using Your Faith!

angels     Many years ago I heard a message about how the angels of God are there to do our bidding.  God didn’t leave us powerless.  

  • Are they not all ministering spirits send forth to serve, for the sake of those who are to obtain salvation? (Heirs of Salvation)…Hebrews 11:14

 So, I started to put some things together in my head.  If the angels are there to serve us, God’s own people, through salvation in Jesus, then what is stopping me from calling on their services when I need them?

 

Thinking business woman looking up on speech empty bubble isolat

Can you answer that question?

I began to formulate scriptures to encourage my faith to activate this benefit to those of us who are heirs to the Kingdom of God.   We are all heirs, but not everyone believes that or accepts it.   But if you are an heir to eternity with God then you are a candidate!!

  •  God has revealed to us through the Holy Spirit, for the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. 2:10
  •  And He who searches the hearts of men knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:27
  • For there is nothing hid, except to be made manifest, nor is anything secret except to come to light. Mark 4:22

 screen_shot_2012-09-10_at_10.18.10_am   When you pray the word of God, you activate your faith, for you know you are praying according to His perfect will and you are hearing yourself say it…it is a release of your faith.  His word will always accomplish what He wants to accomplish and will never return to Him without  performing what your faith is releasing.

 So, what prevents us from using this knowledge when we have lost something we need to find.   Even if it’s just our keys?   He cares about every tiny detail of our life.   He WANTS to be involved and to be asked.   We have not because we ask not He tells us in His word. 

8-Examples-of-passive-aggressive-behaviour  These scriptures can also be used to reveal hidden things in a relationship or a person’s life that needs to be uncovered.  

And it works!  As a matter of fact it works so well that I would recommend you NOT pray these scriptures unless you are prepared for what you might find out.   I have shared this truth with some who just thought they wanted to see truth, but when it was revealed to them, they ignored it because they wanted their way and not Gods way. 

 The choice is yours.

 My husband and I use this prayer all the time…even to find our keys that we just had with us.   I can even reveal that at times I KNOW I looked in a certain place a dozen times…then I stopped and prayed, felt this nudge to look again, and there the thing would be that I was looking for.

 I have witnessed rings found in snow drifts, that would have been impossible,  toxic relationships stopped when hidden things came out that were not seen before,  contact lens that were dropped suddenly start sparkling and clearly seen, and lost money reappear.

 My purse was stolen in Wal-Mart one day, right out of the cart when I turned my back.   We raced through the store and locked the doors and the employees checked every bag leaving the store, to no avail.  The Police were summoned and came to me to take a report.  While I waited I prayed this prayer of finding things.   While talking to the Officer he told me that I might as well forget about finding it and cancel all my cards…I did cancel the cards, but believed it would come back to me. 

 

sb_passiveagressive2I asked the officer if he believed in angels.  He said that he did, as a matter of  fact.  I then told him that I believed the angels would bring the purse back to me.    He smiled and said, would you promise me you will call me at the station, (here’s my name), and let me know if this happens.   I said I most certainly would.

I kept praying the prayer to keep my faith out there. 

One week later I got a call from the store.  They had found my purse hanging in the purse section as if for sale.  It had everything in it with nothing missing.  

 Coincidence?   I think not!

 I called the officer that day.  When I told him my purse was found inside the store, hanging out in plain sight, with nothing missing, he started laughing and called out to all his buddies to tell them the story. 

 This prayer is so effective I have shared it with everyone I know and have had wonderful stories returned to me of finding priceless treasures long ago lost.   It is so fun to rejoice with them.

 And to see their faith elevated.

 And the angels smile.1510622_841945859154537_781370328_n

 So, here is the prayer I put together.  Now, this is not a formula, or a religion.  It is simply a Word prayer I put together of the above scriptures I shared with you.   It is a help to get you started in exercising your faith in this area.  You can use it anyway you wish or write your own to pray or just use your memory of the scriptures.  

 I personally have used this prayer for years.   Here it is:

 Jesus-By-My-Side-342x200

Father, I know there is nothing hidden, except to be revealed and there is nothing kept secret except it be make known.   So, I ask you now, in the name of Jesus, that Your Holy Spirit would search diligently, explore and examine every area, and bring every hidden thing into the light (insert here the name of the person or thing).  I ask that You would release the ministering spirits (angels) who are there to do the bidding of the heirs of salvation, of which I am one, to go forth, find, and bring that hidden ____________back to me. (or bring every hidden thing to light with this person).   I trust that wherever it is you will cause me to either remember, or have it materialize to my sight.  I trust You to bring it to me today.  Amen!!

Sugar Coated Anger….15 Ways to Recognize Passive Aggressive Behavior!

7699943_f260My belief has always been, when the dark and hidden areas of our minds are exposed to light and truth, the darkness has to go.  Light and darkness simply cannot dwell in the same place. 

So, as a Life Coach, I endeavor to ask the right questions that will uncover areas in ourselves that will ultimately answer our questions and set us free from bondage.  Or to help us see the truth within relationships that perplex us, that also sets us free from the actions of others.

Sometimes our communication and conflict management patterns can be out of whack.  

This can be for a variety of reasons based on our background and learned behavior.  Those patterns can change with some insights, skills and relationship help.

And if you want it to change. 

You have to want it to change. 

It is always about a choice, isn’t it?

So, if this post helps you see your own passive-aggressive behaviors, you will understand why others find it difficult to be around you, trust you, and respect you as you would like to be trusted and respected.

passive-aggressive-spouse (1)You confuse them.  People move away from folks who purposefully confuse them — if they are smart.  It can be such a drain.

Or if it answers your questions or rings a bell in some of your relationship conflicts with the other people in your life who have these traits this will help you realize you are not really crazy–and it is not you!

Just becoming a Christian doesn’t mean that our behavior patterns change overnight.  The minute we become believers of Jesus Christ, our hearts are born anew.  We get brand new hearts, alive unto God.  And we are saved by His grace, not by our own goodness, but by His. 

But our souls, (mind, will, and emotions) have to be renewed on a daily basis by a continued pursued relationship with Jesus.  His spirit helps us to change and it is never ending growth.  We have to learn how to recognize old coping skills from the past and allow the Lord to show us how to move past them and find our security, comfort, and value from Him alone.

So, I am offering you a list of what you can look for in a passive aggressive person, or to even recognize some of the traits in yourself.  If so, I hope you find it home-hitting and immediately revealing and you start the journey to correct it.

passiveaggression1If these traits describe you as you usually are, I invite you to sit up and take notice.  You likely do not even realize you are doing these things.  Once you read them and ponder your own behavior, you may finally understand why you are having difficulties having the relationships you most want, at home and at work or in the church.

More good news, the more willing to work on yourself you are, the greater your chances of having the life with others that you crave.  When you realize how you are pushing them away by your crazy-making behaviors, you can change things within yourself. When you are trustworthy within yourself, you will be perceived as trustworthy by others.

Although men and women express their passive-aggressive behaviors somewhat differently, generally, you are behaving in passive-aggressive ways if you are regularly:

1. Unwilling to speak your truth openly, kindly and honestly when asked for your opinion or when asked to do something for someone.

How this shows up in communication is being “assertively unassertive”.  You say “Yes” (assertive) when you really mean “No way” (unassertive).  Then, you let your behavior say “No way” for you.  People become confused and mistrusting of you.

2. Appearing sweet, compliant and agreeable, but are really resentful, angry, petty and envious underneath and your actions are just off enough to the point that those close to you sense it.  It makes those around you annoyed and confused.

sb_passiveagressive2People who do not get along with others are interested only in themselves; they will disagree with what everyone else knows is right.  A fool does not care whether he understands a thing or not; all he wants to do is show how smart he is. Pro. 18:1&2 NLT

 3. You fear direct communication because you fear rejection. You then often push away the people you care about because you don’t want to seem in need of support.

relationship difficultiesAll the while, you are afraid of being alone and so you want to control those around you so they won’t leave you.  Very confusing!

4. Complaining that others treat you unfairly frequently.  Rather than taking responsibility for stepping up and speaking your truth, you set yourself up as the (innocent) victim.  You say others are hard on you, unfair, unreasonable and excessively demanding.

5. Procrastinating frequently, especially on things you do for others.  One way of controlling others is to make them wait.  Ouch!!  I know that speaks to so many of us.  You have lots of excuses why you haven’t been able to get things done.  You even blame others for why that is so.  It’s amazingly unreasonable, but you do it even though it destroys relationship, damages careers, loses friendships and jobs.

And, you tell others how justified you are in being angry because, once again, others treated you unfairly.

6. Unwilling to give a straight answer.  Another way of controlling others is to send mixed messages, ones that leave the other person completely unclear about your thoughts, plans or intentions.

Then, you make them feel wrong when you tell them that what they took from your communication was not what you meant.  Silly them!

depositphotos_21157319-Man-telling-spooky-story7. The silent treatment.  Passive aggressive behavior is recognizable by the disconnect between what is being said and what is being done. Nothing highlights this more than the famous silent treatment. Silence generally signifies agreement but not in this case.  When you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you realize that the other person is far from agreeable.  They have a big problem with you and just to allow themselves the victory, they have no intention of telling you what that is.

There are 2 other common versions of the silent treatment.  One is to answer the question ‘What’s wrong?’ with ‘nothing’, when there certainly is something wrong.  The other is to answer any question with just one word.  This is intended to signal that there is a problem, without you having to say it.

8-Examples-of-passive-aggressive-behaviourBoth expressions say “You poor confused person. You’re not worth talking to.”  But the real reason for their behavior is that they have not, cannot, or will not take responsibility for their own behavior.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  Romans 12:1-2 ESV

8. Frequently feeling inadequate but covering it up with superiority, disdain or hostile passivity. 

bully-free-workplacesWhether you set yourself up to be a self-sabotaging failure — “Why do you have such unrealistic expectations of me?” or a tyrant or goddess incapable of anything less than perfection, “To whom do you think you are speaking?”  You are shaking in your boots from fear of competition and being found out as less than perfect.

9. Often late and/or forgetful.  One way of driving people away is to be thoughtless, inconsiderate and infuriating.

And, then, to put the cherry on top, you suggest that it’s unrealistic to expect you to arrive on time, or, in your words, “think of everything”.  Being chronically late is disrespectful of others.  Supposedly forgetting to do what you have agreed to do is simply demonstrating your lack of trustworthiness.  Who wants to be around that for long?

Pro. 16:7   When people’s lives please the LORD, even their enemies are at peace with them.

10. Making up stories, excuses and lies.  You are the master of avoidance of the straight answer.  You’ll go to great lengths to tell a story, withhold information, or even withhold love and affirmation in your primary relationships.  It seems that if you let folks think you like them too much, that would be giving them power.  You’d rather be in control by creating a story that seems plausible, gets them off your back, and makes reality look better from your viewpoint.

11. Constantly protecting yourself so no one will know how afraid you are of being inadequate, imperfect, dependent or simply human.

12. Complaints of injustice and lack of appreciation

13. Dragging your feet to frustrate others.  Again, a control move somewhat like procrastinating, but the difference is you begin and appear as though you are doing what you said you would do.  But, you always have an excuse why you cannot continue or complete the task.  You won’t even say when it will be — or even might be — done.  Do you know anyone like this? 

people-running-scared-clipart-1044249-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Fearful-Man-RunningEverything is viewed as an attack on you.  When something doesn’t go your way, it is seen as unfair or an injustice.  It’s all about how the world impacts you.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.  Galatians 5:1-20 ESV

14. Disguising criticism with compliments

At first, passive aggressive people may seem pleasant and warm.  They often appear to be complimentary.  It is only after they have left that you realize that the compliment was actually disguising a cheap jibe.

15. Always getting in the last punch.

Passive aggressive people love to throw the last punch.  So much so, that even when an argument has been reconciled, they slip one last insulting remark into the conversation. This remark is often more subtle than the ones which went before but it is still an insulting remark which allows them to feel victorious.

gods-willWe belong to God.  It is time for us to step into maturity and begin to face truth about the strong holds in our lives that hold us back from producing His fruit in us. 

The answer always lies in Jesus.  Our renewed minds will flow out from Him if we are willing to admit the truth of our actions to ourselves and then to Him.  It is not in our own power but in His.  In our weaknesses He is made strong, but we have to be willing to get out of denial and face our truth.  He will help us with the rest! 

loveLove is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

When Feelings Lose Their Power

 

 

waterfall I lost life as I knew it over the course of one year a while back. Of course it was a slow build up to that year, but denial has a funny way of making you blind to what is coming.

(The complete story of this trip into the wasteland of my soul is recorded in my last book, Climbing Out of the Box.)

Through years of denial, spiritual abuse, and unresolved childhood abuse issues, my life broke apart in huge chunks and floated away on a sea of despair.  I lost my marriage, my home, myself, my church, and my children moved out…and did I mention I lost myself?

…all within a few months of each other.

Then I entered the wasteland of devastation and loss and an overload of “feelings”.

How can I describe the feelings?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIt was like being on a huge merry go round, holding on for dear life, trying to look like I had a grip but my vise gripped fingers were sliding off with every whirl.  It twirled faster and faster until my hands did lose their grip and I was flung off into space with magnitude force into nothingness with no idea where I would finally land.  When I did land I felt like I was smothering in feelings and couldn’t breathe; Kind of like being buried alive.

  • Grief

  • Despair

  • Fear

  • Anxiety

  • Sorrow

  • Emptiness

  • Anger

In the years that followed I was alone with myself and thought I would never recover from the empty shell that was me.

My feelings became my faithful companions until I finally started talking to God.  Boy did I have the questions.

The most fascinating thing to me was that He never left.  He stepped back, though, to give me time to come to the place of realizing all my answers were in Him.  He is always so patient with us.

As I called upon Him in my solitary place, He began to heal my frayed and broken heart.  I was ruled by my feelings at the point of quiet desperation and had been since the beginning of the dirge into blackness.

PeaceHe held me and let me weep when I finally pushed my arms up to my “Abba, Daddy”, in brokenness.

And then the healing began.  I learned so much in the next few years of exile.

One of the things I learned was that my feelings didn’t have to rule me or dictate to me how to act for the rest of my life.

When we call upon Him in our feelings of abandonment and reach deep into our still, quiet heart, where He dwells,

  • Our fears lose their power to control us;

  • Our “out of control” anger loses its power to devastate anyone lying in its wake….and

  • Our depression loses its power to consume us.

Our feelings lose their control over us.

That still, quiet center of us, where He resides, is where we are aware of His presence the most.  Learn how to quiet yourself and find that spot of uninterruption and you will find His voice.

  • He centers us.

  • He is our anchor.

When we call upon Him, we find the power to let go of our resentment and ask for forgiveness.  We can also forgive ourselves and be free.  We can let go of the past and move into the stillness of living large in the here and now.

And then we learn to trade in our profound shame for vulnerability with others, for in Him we are safe; and we trade in our fear of being embarrassed, to finally being transparent.

Our feelings provide the fertile ground of captivity for us.

If we listen to them they will kill our creativity that God wants to use.  They will squelch our love for others and undermine our knowledge of redemption and grace.

What if we just decided to stop listening to our feelings, and started listening to what God says about us; and start focusing in on His still whispers of direction and love?  What if we make a conscious decision to believe we are really hearing His voice and just do it…by faith?

And accepting our feelings as real, for they are very real, but not necessarily true if they become our dictating force and despair.  They can betray us in portraying Gods words as not trust worthy.

It is like a drop of soothing, healing water to accept that our feelings are real, but can be deceptive outside of God’s truth about us.

1510543_680314828697735_1831250127_nI think our shame would dry up and our love would explode and the world would never be the same  again if we can get to this place of truth and freedom.

Three Keys to Recognize “Mistaken Thinking”

72502_464513973611156_2101516539_nAs a young believer coming into a new group of believers I was so shy.   I kept to myself though I longed to join other young couples and make friends.  I would watch them gather together and keep myself apart from them because I felt so inferior.  I had nothing to offer them, I thought.  I just have to look good and they will think I am together.   It didn’t work.  I mistakenly thought they didn’t like me.  This was because I always believed I was flawed because I was abused as a child.  Then one day one of the young mothers told me that she would like to be my friend but that I was giving off the persona that I was better than them.  What?   All the time I was dying to make friends, they thought I was snooty because of my little act of sufficiency.    This was eye opening to me.   I decided that no matter how I felt on the inside I would “put on” who I wanted to be.   I started going up to people and act very friendly and welcome them to church, as if I was the director of customer service.  I would stand in the foyer and greet people as if I was appointed the job, which I wasn’t.   People started lighting up when they would see me and I made many friends.    I found out from many of them that they were afraid to approach me.

Years later I found myself working frantically for God to be more acceptable to Him.   I became addicted t o “ministry” to cover my own lack of self esteem.   I had learned to paint the picture of being a worthy person very well.  The busier I became in helping people the more accolades of praise and admiration they would lavish me with.  Their words filled the deep holes in my soul that I so needed to feel important—temporarily, just as any addiction does.  I didn’t understand Grace.  I didn’t really know Jesus intimately.  Oh, I knew He had redeemed me and I was going to Heaven.  But I didn’t know He loved me exactly as I am and wanted to fill those deep holes with only Him.     I was slowly sinking into a loss I was not prepared for.

I was caught up in legalism.   I thought if I worked hard enough God would find me acceptable.  Where did that come from?   Was it correct thinking?   I appeared righteous and spiritual, but inside I was ultimately failing to accomplish God’s purposes because my life was based on outward performance instead of inward change.  Being a victim of incest at an early age I always thought that I was less than everyone else.   I was miserable around people because I just knew they could see my flaws, thus, the constant working to prove myself worthy.

Quite often, from earliest childhood mostly, we are taught something born out of someone else’s insecurity, prejudice, ignorance, or our very own victimizations.  These things form the way we think about ourselves.  It is amazing how we can go a lifetime believing lies and living them as truth, based only on our past injuries.

Mistaken thinking can interfere with the plan God has for you on this earth.  It can keep you down.  It can keep you stuck in a strong hold that will blind you to God’s plan for you.  We need to unlearn the things we have believed all of our lives in order to get unstuck in areas we just can’t seem to move forward in.

What are some areas you have mistakenly believed and walked in most of your life, or maybe, all of your life?   Here are some examples:

  • I am unworthy of love.
  • God loves me only if I am productive.
  • I need to rescue people in order for them to like me.
  • I am an island.
  • Manipulation works.
  • Don’t trust anyone.
  • I can’t.
  • I am a victim for the rest of my life.
  • Never give up control.
  • People are cruel
  • Self esteem is based on good looks, riches, popularity, or power.
  • I have to be perfect.
  • I can fix people.
  • I must always play it safe.

God desires for you to know who you really are, and realize how deeply He loves, accepts, and appreciates you, so that you can live out the fullness of what all He has ordained you to be. God’s Word tells us that without being rooted and grounded in the love (and acceptance) of God, we cannot experience the fullness of God in our lives.

 

golden-keyASK THE HOLY SPIRIT TO REVEAL TO YOU THE AREAS OF MISTAKEN THINKING THAT IS NOT OF GOD.

You will be amazed when you ask God to do this and be willing from the heart to listen to Him how quickly he will show you where your thinking is off.

golden-keyIN WHATEVER AREA YOU KNOW YOUR THINKING IS OFF, SEARCH THE WORD FOR WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT YOU AND HOW VALUED YOU REALLY ARE.  MEMORIZE IT AND WHEN YOU GO BACK TO YOUR OLD WAY OF THINKING, IMMEDIATELY PULL OUT YOUR TRUTH INSTEAD!

 Begin to say those scriptures whenever you are tempted to think in your old ways.    For instance, in thinking you are an island unto yourself and the only one you need in life.  The word says to not forsake the gathering of believers together for we need each other.  It is when we isolate that the enemy comes in to deceive us.  We were created for community, not isolation.  We need each other!

golden-keyDEVELOP YOUR INTIMACY WITH A VERY REAL, PERSONABLE JESUS! 

We are who we spend the most time with.  When you really know Jesus in every sense of the word, you become more like Him.  You begin to think like Him!!  Your old misconceptions will change.

PS:  Life Coaching can help you identify your areas of mistaken thinking and transform those areas into “right” thinking, breaking old patterns of defeat.   You might give it a try!     http://www.reflectionsofgracehome.com/lifecoaching.html