This blog post is for anyone with a broken heart right now…anyone with a broken spirit…anyone with broken wings….anyone who is trying to figure out how to put their life back together after extreme darkness.
This is for you……
Your word is a lamp to my feet….And a light to my path. Ps. 119
Do you know when this word means the most?
When you are in the valley of loss, confusion, grief, and profound darkness.
This is when, to survive, we MUST lean into He who has the answers— for as long as it takes. Think of this:
He is a lamp to your feet, when you can ONLY see your feet. He seems far away but He isn’t..
you can see your feet, right?
And one day you will look up and see your path. It will be lit up…finally. And you will gain some understanding why you had to walk in darkness for a while…
Jesus has night vision.
A client lamented,
“The depth of my sorrow reaches no walls…it swallows me in a moment’s notice. I have had so many losses of the foundation of my family connections…there is no way to describe the depth and darkness of the cloud that descends on my new reality. I am not a woman prone to depression or sadness, yet, the onslaught of the losses I am experiencing has shocked me to the core….the very ones who I thought would love me no matter what have left me and I long for their return….I have tried every way imaginable to fix, reason, forgive, restore, and yes, even cling….to no avail. How could this happen? I have never felt more alone in this world, and other than Jesus, I have lost most everything I felt love and comfort in. Confusion abounds as to whether I did anything to cause this, can I change it if I did, and how come this all makes no sense in my natural mind. I have loved unconditionally, to the depth of my core…yet, never considered that others journeys may not be the same as mine when it came to loyalty, and deep deep connections. I do not understand. I have asked the Lord to show me the escape from this nightmare and darkness. I have asked him to give me a new outlook and purpose in my life. I have asked him to help me let go of that which I would cling to til my dying day. I have asked him to take me home if there will be no restoration here on this earth. For I know in the world to come there is complete restoration of all that I have lost here. I don’t like it here anymore. “
Everywhere there is fog.
This lament sound familiar?
“For it is not an enemy who taunts me—Then I could bear it;
Nor is it one who has hated me who insolently exalts himself against me—Then I could hide from him. But it is you, a man my equal and my counsel, My companion and my familiar friend; We who had sweet fellowship together, Who walked to the house of God in company.” Ps. 55
Yes, my friends, God is right there in the midst of your anguish…David laments the loss of his beloved friend, who was closer than family. He is in despair. I believe God put that passage in His word, so that we may understand that He, the God of the universe, gets it.
David also says,
“My heart is in anguish within me, And the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling have come upon me; Horror has overwhelmed me. And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. I would wander far away, I would lodge in the [peace of the] wilderness. Selah. I would hurry to my refuge [my tranquil shelter far away] From the stormy wind and from the tempest.”
Oh yes, we want to escape but can find no way out. We want to fly away and be at rest.
But….what do you do when your wings are broken?
…. it doesn’t matter why you feel like you lost your wings or that your soul is broken past repair….whether it’s because your husband cheated on you or your business partner betrayed you or your cancer test came back positive or your house went into foreclosure or you lost the baby that you waited so long for or the parent that you need now more than ever…or that one of your children has gone astray or your husband is chronically ill or you are chronically ill or your business failed or your prayers weren’t answered the way you wanted them to be….
…it all hurts ….and lots of times it leaves you to crash to the ground in a fetal position.
There’s one truth that ties it all together, though…….that we have a healer and One who promises to never leave us or forsake us, even in the darkness.
He has night vision. He can see right where you are….just stop, and cry, or rest…and wait. He is faithful.
If He wasn’t then I would not be doing what I do.
I know it’s hard to find hope and it’s hard to find faith when we feel like the whole world just got swept out from under us…..when we feel like we are too full of holes to be anything but empty. But, I promise…you can fly again, and you will. I know that…….because
I’ve been there.
What do you do?
Hold on to Him in the dark. Even when you can’t speak anything but sorrow. He can see what’s happening.
A friend today told me she was so stuck she literally could not move. She saw a huge boulder blocking her path and nothing would remove it. Then God spoke to her through another friend who said, “Why don’t you just lean back on the boulder and rest.” It was revelation to her! She did just that and for the first time in a long time she found peace.
We don’t have to be ‘doing’ all the time!!
This is the time to trust. Wait. Be good to you…your wing is broken.
He can see into the night.
And He expects nothing from you even if you can only whisper His name in the failing light of pain.
He teaches us to accept those things we cannot change and somehow even in our painful and devastating losses helps us to rest and be at peace once again with HOPE!!
He can see into your night just as plain as day.
And more than that, He always has a plan and its a good plan for your life. Even in our blind and dark seasons, He is unchangeable.
Your endurance will come from Him.
And one day soon He will open your vision to see not just your feet, but the trail ahead. And you will fly again.
He will heal your broken wings.
The people who walk in darkness Will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, The light will shine on them. Is. 9:2
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