2 Steps to Ponder When Our “Picture” Cuts Us Off From Reality

Thinking business woman looking up on speech empty bubble isolated on white background

I have always created pictures in my mind of the outcomes I want to see that weren’t what was really happening.   I created pictures of my situations in life in my mind that were not reality and I lived that way off and on until only just recently.    I thought I had a handle on it, but still found residue of this ability I had so carefully constructed in so many areas.  

The mind is a powerful thing, and is the source of all our battles with the enemy.

How many of you know that God heals us and corrects us in layers?  

Like pealing an onion…one layer at a time.  We can’t handle it all at once.

 

1 Corinthians 13: in the message says:

12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

  I wrote about my ability to create my own reality in my first book,

51u5NRnNcGL “Climbing Out of the Box.”   (Which you can find on Amazon)  

It started when I was a victim of incest as a child and I learned to remove myself from what was happening and would create a happy and safe environment to dwell in that wasn’t reality.   I was forever being disappointed when my picture didn’t line up with what was really happening.   It was a way to cope.   As an adult it is an easy and tempting thing to slip back into and I have to be on my guard most of the time.   But I am a grown up now, not the child victim.  

 The problem comes when we convince ourselves that we need a certain outcome — and that it has to happen on our  timeline, in the way we’ve pictured it.

 sb_passiveagressive2When we try to control outcomes, and make them fit our pictures, we cut ourselves off from the loving protection of God  and let fear begin to rule our thoughts.

Fortunately, in any given moment you have a choice to change.

 

You can choose to reconnect with the reality of overcoming our circumstances instead of living in a false reality,  thus enabling the enemy to continue to cause us pain in lives.

 mind-clutterHere are some  steps to follow to remind yourself of your  powerful connection with Jesus so that you may begin to walk in the power to overcome that He has provided for you.

Step 1:

Be determined to see your circumstances with God’s eyes.  Ask Him for His eyes to see clearly…not what you have created for yourself to see. eye

What are you saying, out loud or to yourself, that’s disconnecting you from your power?  

thumb_colourbox1908348Identify your story. 

Once you’ve identified your real story, take a moment to get real about how it makes you feel. Recognize the way your words and beliefs block the manifestation of what you are praying about to begin to occur in your life..

What is the number one negative story that you have on repeat in your brain, and how does it make you feel?

Your honesty is what will open  the door for you to remember and accept the power of God to change your circumstances or enable you to accept the place you are at in this part of your season.

Once you’ve identified your story, immediately say out loud: “I am more than an conqueror in all of my circumstances”    You, my friend are a child of the King of Kings.

You have to let go of your fear.  1209389_575103479218871_301732771_n

 Step 2:

Turn it over to the Lord of your heart, Jesus,  and be patient.

Talk to Him with certainty and thank Him for giving you a clear picture of your life and a clear picture of what He wants to accomplish in you.  Be patient within His fruit of patience.

 Try not to control your picture, but let Him create a new picture for you.   Your sign from Him will be crystal clear if you’re going in the right direction.  He will show you His will for you right now.   And remember that if it’s not clear, it is time to trust Him and be patient and learn what waiting on Him really means.

 There may be some personal fears you need to clear up, or perhaps faith you need to strengthen, before you can get it.

 When you try to control an outcome or even a time frame, you cut off your ability to be patient for the outcomes and disconnect from all the infinite possibilities that could occur.

 potter-pottery-art-handicraft-indiaSurrender to the Lord  and remember that nothing can take away your true power that is yours in Christ and His love and peace within you.  Let Him mold you into who He has created you to become.

 What would happen if you chose to be thankful and content in the place you are in right now?   

 Or if you are in a really trying, and grief filled place right now, asking Him to strengthen and hold you up while you navigate the waters of pain?    He promises to surround you with Himself every minute of the day.   And nothing ever stays the same.   You can endure until change comes within His strength.

 But you have to invite this to happen..

 or you could ignore it….

or forget that it is yours….and walk in defeat and fear.

 

brokenchainsIt is all a choice on your part. 

 

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Confronting the Elephant in the Room

elephant in the room Because I am an advocate that  stands up for those who have  been victims of childhood  abuse and….

 Because I am a healed  survivor of my own past of  childhood abuse….

I once again feel the need to speak up on behalf of that group of people that even the church tries to shush up…because the disclosure is so uncomfortable for them…so it is easier to sweep it under the rug and pretend we don’t know these things are happening every day.

When are we going to start confronting the elephant in the room that most will ignore and pretend it is not there?

Silencing victims by saying that this shouldn’t be talked about, or should remain within families, says to a victim that this is something to be ashamed of.

 That they are in fact damaged goods.

woman-praying-clipart-LcKdoepEi When these crimes are called out and discussed in a public forum, the offender alone should bear both the responsibility and the shame. These matters need to be discussed not only for prevention, but also for healing.

 Victims need to be heard. They need to be believed. They need to know that what happened was not their fault. We bear witness to their suffering when we give them a voice.

 The only way we can ever hope to stop abuse is if we are willing to talk about it and admit that it happens.  We need to allow them to speak out!  To be transparent without fear of reprisal or shame or embarrassment. We also need to acknowledge that the Christian community is not exempt from this horror.   But it is not something that is often spoke about or expose within the church gatherings.

 I believe this will change.

 As Ann Voscamp so adequately puts it, “Because People of the Church are to be those who stand up so safe places open up, who lead by always going lower, who expose and confront abuse everywhere they find it, so the hope of the Gospel can be of use anywhere it goes.

Because People of the Cross are to be witnesses for the suffering, and responders to the victims, and testifiers of Truth, no matter the cost, no matter the risk, because Christ is The Truth — and where there isn’t Truth, there isn’t Christ. Why ever hide or cover-up the Truth?”

And to those still walking in their victimhood:

10440802_696494227073693_7724385406213002777_n Our wounds from childhood  abuse bring messages with  them…they have a common  theme of “your worthless, you  have no value, you are a  flawed person, no one will  love you, you are ugly” ….

 And when those wounds were delivered to you with such pain, they felt true. 

They pierced your heart. 

So, you accepted the message as fact.  You embraced the worthless verdict on yourself. 

The vows of silence we made as children act like a deep seated agreement with the messages of our wounds.  Because it was all about survival.   There was nothing else that could penetrate that agreement with our pain.  The vows we made acted like a kind of covenant with the messages that came with our deep wounds. 

light and darkness And it is a deep hole of darkness.

 We know that the word tells us where 2 or 3  agree on a matter it shall be done.  This can  work in the negative as well.  When we, as  victims of our past, set ourselves in agreement  with the enemy that there is something wrong  with us, we begin to live in exactly that place.

Those childhood vows are very dangerous things.  They change the course of our life.  

We have to renounce the messages as lies ….it is the way to unlock the door to Jesus.  Agreements lock the door from the inside.  Renouncing the agreements unlocks the door to Him….

birdcage to Jesus…

 He will move into those  heavily veiled places within  our soul and be there with us  in that place of pain and  abuse…..and deliver us and  heal us from the past.  I don’t know how He does it.  But I can attest to the fact that He does.

Because he did for me!  

(If you want to read my story of being a child victim of incest, you can find my memoir “Climbing Out of the Box.” on Amazon.) 

To you precious abuse survivors reading this:

Never forget that there is hope for healing. Although life after trauma is messy and working through the pain is difficult, it is absolutely worth the fight.

May you rest in the hope of a God who cradles his wounded children in his arms as his own body is wracked with tears for the suffering you have endured.

And He will heal you to the point that the past will not affect your future.

38477_137112636323023_6691527_n He will feed His flock like a shepherd:  He will gather the lambs in His arms,  He will carry them in His bosom and  will gently lead those that have their  young. Is. 40:11

 Jesus I give myself to you.  I give my  life to you.  I surrender me…totally  and completely.   Forgive all my  hurtful ways.  Forgive my self-  protecting ways and all of my chasing after other comforters.  Come and be my savior, healer, my love……

(If you are a survivor of childhood abuse and haven’t worked through the steps to healing please contact me for coaching on my home page above or leave a comment here.)