In the Pit of Greatness…But I Have a Leak!

I am beginning to see this pit I am in as a kind of  “holding ground” that promotes His work in my heart with great intensity.   Each time Joseph was thrown into a pit it placed him in a position to achieve higher Kingdom purposes.  I think that is what this is about.  The pit of greatness!!

 

Is God saying…

 

“I want my sons and daughters to endure every test faithfully so I can strategically place them in positions to reach my people.” 

You know this rings true in your heart, even if your head wants to run the other way from, yikes, testing!!!

Are we willing to say, “Lord, I’ll gladly go wherever you want me to?   

 Do we pray, “Lord give me your eyes so I can see what is ahead?”  

 We say we hunger for this kind of faith, but do we really?  We don’t want to just occupy a space on this earth.  There has to be more, right?  We want Him to work His purposes in our lives, to impact the Kingdom of God.

 

But I know many believers who are afraid to dream  in faith; who would rather stay in their present pit than risk a move to higher ground,  For with that move comes testing.  

 That sacrifice of comfort that involves the unknown ahead, frankly, scares us to death.

 So we hang on to those familiar “friends” of  mediocrity and compromise.   We would rather stay with the destructive patterns and darkness in our lives than be willing to accept and  move out into the unknown in faith, Because we don’t totally trust Him to have our backs and take care of  us in what could possibly be ahead.   Or maybe we just fear pain.

So, we try to fly under the radar.  And we are ineffective in the Kingdom of God, so we won’t be a threat to the enemy, so we won’t get tested.  

Sometimes God has greater ideas and plans for our lives.  In fact, He always does.  More than we think we are capable of doing.

God has been  stripping away the old wineskins and creating  new ones in my life.  I wish I could say it has been fun but, not really.   I want to live a life of leisure and fun and accomplishments, without the testings of my faith.  But, wow, can I really have  genuine faith if I never have to walk in the dark for a while to see what I am believing for?  I think not.

It says in Psalms 119:105…

His word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. 

Sometimes all I can see is the lamp illuminating my feet step by step so I don’t stumble on a tree stump (which I have literally done and it isn’t fun), but I can’t see further than 3 feet ahead of me even with a flashlight.  But He promises to light my path even when I can only see my feet.

 We want the maturity and accolades but without the testings to mature us.  When you see someone that God is using mightily and find yourself envying their life, be careful.  Are you willing to walk in their shoes awhile to see what has been burned out of them with fire, to make them what you see today? 

OS Hillman said, “When God called the Israelites from their place of slavery they had to walk through the desert. There is no way to earn a living in the desert. So God provided manna each day for them. Sometimes He even brought water from rocks. They had to experience a new way of gaining provision that was not rooted in sweat and toil. God had to demonstrate His faithfulness as Jehovah Jireh to His people.”

This is where I am at.   We are more than provided for every day in this juncture of our journey of no work coming in.  And there is manna from Heaven.  That isn’t even a concern anymore because, truthfully, He has proven again and again He knows right where we are and He provides miracles of abundance every day.

But, interesting enough, I still find room to feel sorry for myself.  I still want security and assurance about the future.   I want to make plans.  I want to know if I will be living here next year at this time. 

I want, I want, I want.  Yep, that’s me. 

So, I return to the love of my life,

Whisper the name of Jesus.

People whom I love and who love me deeply are not able to satisfy my longings for security.  Friends have tried to fill me, my husband has tried to fill me, but they couldn’t do it.

But, as Stasi Eldridge puts it, “I have a leak.”  My pipes are broken.  My needs of filling these enormous holes of insecurity can only be filled by Jesus.  I can’t put that kind of pressure on those that I love. He has to do it!

Just about everything I have learned in life has been the hard way.  You would think I would get used to it and just go the route I know best by now.  But in my humanness I still find myself feeling depressed before I realize I need to return to my Love, Jesus, to fill me up again.  He is actually the only One who was ever meant to!