What in the World Are We Looking For?

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Our souls are relentless in their pursuits.

 It seems we are always searching, seeking, and running after something. We seek relationships to satisfy our longing for intimacy. We pursue careers to make it in this world. We search for significance or purpose through various means.

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We must keep a close eye on the direction of our souls (mind, will, emotions). They often have a mind of their own.

Misguided pursuits that have one goal in mind, to satisfy misguided desires that were never meant to be fulfilled. Many feel the only way to satisfy these desires is to yield. They foolishly believe to give in, is the end of the struggle.

But even then, they quickly discover that the surrender leaves them and they succomb to something they quickly regret.

I have a client I’ll call Maddy.   She was constantly searching for meaning to her life.  But she doesn’t understand why nothing she tries ever brings satisfaction.  In and out of relationships, jobs, marriages, and so many other things, she finally reached out for help.  She was so lost and confused.  She had struggled for years, but when she finally reached the bottom of herself she sought help.   Today, she is finding so much purpose to her life and has been set free from that nagging dissatisfaction she lived with for years.  How?  She realized that Jesus can fill her empty self.

The answer is, simple, really.  

And I always feel the simpler we make understanding spiritual growth in our lives, the easier it is to apply it to our lives.

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I’ll be honest, I once had an addiction to ministry….yes, you read that right. I would spend all of my time developing and teaching bible studies and ministering to people every time the church doors opened and had my own outreach outside the church building.   The problem, though,  was that my personal life had so many serious marital  issues that I was frustrated with and needed to confront, but just couldn’t find the energy to do anything, so I searched for something else to take up brain space.   I convinced myself that as long as I was in service to the Lord  He would take care of my life.   I was so spiritual I ignored my marriage, and ultimately lost it.

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Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt, friends.

 I got my accolades and validity from people and not the Lord.

 and I became addicted to it….

 It was a back and forth struggle. One part of me loved indulging in it, but the other part knew it was not a wise use of my time. I repented several times in my failings, but finally lost most of everything I was ignoring.

 You see I wasn’t using faith….I dismissed my dislocated busy-ness by saying it was for the Lord,

 As if He could only use me and no one else.

 Burnout

I think any human has the capability to become hooked on anything. We generally assume addictions are limited to those who abuse narcotics, drink alcohol to cope, gamble their money away, or view sexual content on the internet regularly.

Addictions can come from any angle. They wrap tightly around us until we are enslaved to them. Why are they so powerful? Because they give us a sense of fulfillment or pleasure−although short lived. They start off seeming innocent, but the more we come back for more, the more we become imprisoned.

Romans 6:16 reads, “Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey…..

 Slaves is a strong word. A word that we don’t like to identify with our own lives.

 Have you noticed how easy it is to identify the problems of others? We thumb_colourbox1908348      may see an area of weakness in their personality and we inwardly identify the changes they need to work on, especially if it is not a problem in our own lives.

 As a person who does not usually get easily angered, I can quickly identity the wrong in someone who is angered or irritated easily. It’s so easy for me to judge them because it’s not a weakness for me. It takes brokenness and humility to turn inwardly and admit my own enslavements, and then turn to God for help.

Broken-Chains 

Are there areas of enslavement in your life that you want to be free from?

 The answer is simple.   We were created with a vacancy,  an empty place, within our hearts that was only…ONLY meant to be filled with God.  

 That’s it!   Not complicated!

 We try to fill that emptiness with everything we can find to satisfy us temporarily.   It will NEVER work.   You will ALWAYS come to the end of yourself and realize you still aren’t happy or joyful or fulfilled….and you move on to something else.

 Jesus-By-My-Side-342x200   Our most lonely place is when we are missing our loving creator, our King, our Jesus and we need to sit with Him and talk to Him about our hearts and what we need.

 Service to Him will follow that relationship of intimacy that will so fill you to satisfaction you can’t help but want to share it with others.  

 Service follows relationship.   No amount of service, if you don’t have the relationship of intimacy with God,  will ever satisfy you.   You will wonder why you feel burned out and disillusioned.  

 Because you were walking in an illusion of thinking “things”  “people”  “service”  (fill in your own word) will satisfy.

 Maybe you like all the things that fill your life right now, and you see no need to examine their place in your life.

 The thing is, we will never come to a place where there is no need for change and growth.

 There is always room for cutting off, turning away from, getting to the root of things. Our pride, selfishness, jealousies, evil motives, and the like require a daily examination…I have many such talks myself.

 You will only get as much of God as you want.

 jesus6    It’s up to us how close we draw near to God. The less we want, the less we will seek. The more we want, the more we will seek.

 Our actions will reveal our pursuit.

 

 

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I Assigned Him Three Angels Two Weeks Ago….

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For 5 years I gathered up my 3 grandchildren and taught them about Jesus –every week.   They were 4 and 6 years old when we began.  Christopher was 6.   He was such a sponge… soaking up all he could about Jesus, heaven, and living in the Kingdom here on earth.    The  letter is his proclamation to get baptized.   IMG_2564

So, their Papa, me and their dads, baptized them in a Jacuzzi. They sang, “Let’s Go Down to the River”…..IMG_2571

As Chris grew physically, he grew spiritually as well. He was very deep and spent a lot of time studying and talking to God.    I was privileged to live close by and got to be a part of all my grandchildren’s lives.  

Chris and I have a bond.  I was there when he, my first born grandson, was born.   I remember driving to San Diego in the wee hours of the morning to get to the hospital to watch his birth…..the sun was rising and I looked up and God spoke to me.  He said this child would be blessed and do great things, just as sunlight beamed down on my car, and I felt His presence and his peace.   7373750-sunrise-in-the-summer-at-small-overcast

Chris faced a life of trials that no young man should have to face, but he always kept his composure and his faith and had a perseverance to move forward….even when he was stuck in life he always found the courage to find a way out.

Then came the day he announced to his family that he had sought God for a long time on the course his life was to take, and he knew he was being called into joining the Marines.     I wanted him to join anything BUT the Marines.   His Mom and I cried.    I knew he was going to be entering a time of endurance like never before.  But he was adamant that was where he was to go.     Fear and pride were mixed together  watching him pursue this career.   marines-symbol-eagle-anchor-earth-97748951

So, I prayed…and prayed…and still praying.   But not in fear.   The Lord spoke to me as I was praying Psalm 91 over him.   He said,

“You have been praying over my son since he was born, Dixie. Those prayers are still in effect, and I assigned more angels to Christopher 2 weeks ago. “

Stunned I said, “Wow, Lord, thank you!   How many?”

81aa11c0a2c58d757d107cfd4c302d81    He said, “Three for now. They are with him every minute.  At night they are standing on either side of his bed, and one at his feet.”

“Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.” Is. 65:24

So, he left for boot camp 2 weeks ago with those angels.   Of course, I am tempted to worry, and to fret, and to doubt.   It’s hard to let the ones you love go and trust God is faithful to cover them, encourage them, and protect him.

Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?” Heb. 1:14

But, you know what?   That is what living in the Kingdom is all about.   You have to be diligent.  You have to stay close to Jesus, and you have to persevere.

And you learn how to let go.

Faith is NOT feelings. Think about that.

Your feelings may betray you, but never allow them to rob you of what is more real than your feelings….your faith.

I wrote Chris a letter before he left reminding him that the very same power that raised Jesus from the dead, dwells in him. And that power is there to call on when he has reached the end of his own strength.   He smiled when he read it and said,

“I know, Nana.”  

Are you praying and believing for someone you love very much.   Remember,  we worry about things that we can’t control.   To walk free of anxiety and fear, we have to lean into Him. 

Listen!!

0006948_abide-with-me_1000For He is speaking all the time.   He promises to NEVER,  EVER leave you no matter what.

And when there are trials and hardships, He is still there, in our suffering, making Himself known.

He says angels are there for us…”for those that are heirs of salvation”…

So, do you use them. Or, at least have an awareness, that they are assigned to you.   Believing what you cannot see?

As my children and grands grew, Psalm 91 was my go to whenever I feared for them or worried about them.   As soon as I prayed that Psalm, I felt his peace and reassurance that His word does not return to him without accomplishing what He wants and offers us. 

Now, my daughter, Christopher’s mom, will not close her eyes at night without praying that word over herself and her loved ones. 

He is our peace.

When my father, on his death bed, told me he couldn’t forgive ME for exposing him for molesting me and my daughter, I was stunned. This didn’t fit my picture of him repenting before his death and telling me he loved me and was sorry for what he did to us.   No, instead, he blamed me for telling ‘our’ secret and exposing him for who he really was.   I was alone in the room with him, speechless.  At that moment I felt the overwhelming presence of Jesus, sitting in the chair with me.    I, seriously, felt him lean over and whisper in my ear, (I actually felt his breath on my ear),  and he said,

Dixie, you are not alone, I am right here. I will never leave you.”   

Jesus-By-My-Side-342x200And I had such a sense of peace.   As shocked as I was at my father’s sense of entitlement, narcissism, and unrepentant heart,  on his death bed, to actually still be blaming me for his crime that changed me and Heather forever… I felt removed emotionally…. and the presence of Jesus was so tangent that I walked out of the hospital room that day with a smile on my face.  Those were the last words with my father before he died.  But the presence of Jesus enabled me to totally let him go.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Ps. 34:5  

In all of our turbulent lives He promises to be there and there is no limit to His presence…you can be mindful of it every day and press in and live in the supernatural…or you can choose to ignore it.   But if you ignore it you will be missing out on  the abundant life He offers….

 akiane-kramarik-jesus-painting  Psalms 91…..Lord,

I thank you that because I dwell in the shelter of You, Most High God  I will find rest in the shadow of You, my Almighty.  This I declare about You Lord: You alone are my refuge, my place of safety; You are my God, and I trust You alone,   For You will rescue me from every trap  and protect me from deadly disease. You will cover me with Your feathers.  You will shelter me with Your wings.   Your faithful promises are my armor and protection. I will not be afraid of the terrors of the night,  nor the arrow that flies in the day. I will not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,  nor the disaster that strikes at midday.  Though a thousand fall at my side, though ten thousand may be dying around me,   these evils will not touch me. I will open my eyes, and see how the wicked are punished.

 Lord, I will make You my refuge, and I will  make You,  Most High,  my shelter,   no evil will conquer me; no plague will come near my home. Thank you for ordering Your angels to protect me wherever I go.  They will hold me up with their hands  so I won’t even hurt my foot on a stone. I will trample upon lions and cobras;  I will crush fierce lions and serpents under my feet!

 Lord You have said You will rescue those who love You and You will protect those who trust in Your name.  When I call on You, You will answer;  You will be with me in trouble. You will rescue and honor me  and You will reward me with a long life and give me Your salvation.”  Amen!  

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Life Coaching is open now for the Summer….If you need help in this season of your life please contact me through the web site or this blog!!

 

 

How to Walk on Water

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“So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus”(Matthew 14:29).

 I am changed.

 I have been through some stuff lately that I can’t even bear to talk about, but yes, it has changed me.

 I have had to let go of things that have hurt me deeply.   The kind of hurt that centers in your core and takes your breath away.

 And I won’t ever be the same.  

 Oh, yes, I believe in restoration and healing, but some things that happen to us, change us forever.  

 But maybe that isn’t a bad thing.   Nothing, and I mean nothing, the enemy tries to take away from us, will be lost forever.  

 Restoration is coming….deliverance is coming…..healing is coming.

 jesus walking  See Jesus walking on the water to your storm tossed boat.

 My very foundation has been shaken to the core but I surrender it all to Him.  

 He is there in the darkness,

in the sad and lonely,

and in pictures of our lives changing to a sad distortion of what we once knew.

 How would we even survive this world without Him. If you haven’t chosen Him as your Savior, whatever do you do with your fear and pain? How do you find peace?

 We all can get distracted, especially when the storms of life rage around us. 

 It’s not easy to keep your eyes on Jesus in the middle of the night, when fear threatens to overwhelm you.

 Very often our purest vision of Jesus comes when the storms of life threaten to capsize the tiny boat of our faith.

 shack  I love the scene in the movie Shack, where Mac is in the little boat out on the lake and his fears take over. The boat is capsizing to a ravaging black monster of fear that seems very real to Mac and water is pouring in……but then through the raging noise around him He hears Jesus yelling at him, “Mac, Mac, look at Me, look at Me!!!   It took a while for Mac to look up and see Jesus…but, oh, when he did, the deception of fear disappeared….and he reached out and took the hand of Jesus and stepped out of the boat with Him on the water.

 I hear quite often, “Dixie, look at Me!!!   Dixie, look at me, look at me!! Take my hand.”

 The wind always blows around us. The mighty storms come sooner or later. We have no choice or control over when the storm comes.

 Today the sun may be shining;

tomorrow we may find ourselves toiling against the wind and rain, tossed about by adversity. Life can turn on a dime. We all know that.

 What happened to Peter can happen to any of us. And most likely will.

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 For a brief moment, Peter forgets about Jesus and remembers who he is and where he is. He is Peter, a Galilean fisherman who belongs back in the boat. In that instant he looks down at his feet and sees nothing but water underneath. His mind comes to a quick conclusion:

I’m not supposed to be walking on this water; this is impossible.”

 When he lost his concentration on Jesus, he began to sink.

 The lesson is clear for all of us.

Pray for “concentrating faith.” 

For eyes that see beyond the present.

Lean into Him with all your focus and might.

You can survive any storm if you keep your eyes on Jesus.

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 Lord Jesus, help me to walk on the waters of faith because you can calm every storm.

 

4 Thoughts on Staying Focused on Jesus in the Madness of This World

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I remind myself today that Satan uses smoke screens to divert our attention onto him and his fear, rather than God.  

The world is a crazy place.  Romans says:  “For we know that all of creation is groaning with birth pains right up to the present time.”    

So, in reality, the Lord has told us these thing would be happening more and more until He actually comes back for us, right?   

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So, how do we maintain our peace in the midst of the madness…the wars and hate, the crazy weather patterns, the sheer unrest in our leaders, the lies, the uncertainities?

I will say it again.  We have an enemy. 

He is not happy when we are involved in changing lives for the Kingdom of God.   He is hoping we will forget and succumb to him, but we know that:

 “Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world.”   

Lion-feel-free-32308434-500-548  Satan roams around like a lion “seeking whom he may devour”…..notice it says “seeking”……..not all of us have our heads in the sand.  We have to be on our guard and walking in the presence of Jesus and not allow ourselves to be distracted by the noise of the enemy, and believe me he will make a lot of noise.  But Jesus is the actual Lion of Judah!!

I have realized it is going to take a supernatural life to be able to withstand evil attacks in these coming days.    

It is time folks, to determine that whatever else our goals and hopes are for this year we need to be seeking the strengthening of our souls.    Remember,

we are a spirit, (the part that is born again with the receiving of Jesus as Lord of our life),

we have a soul, (which is our mind, will, and emotions,)

and we live in a body.  

The bible talks about the renewing of our soul daily.  Not our spirits.  They are already born again and saved for eternity. 

Our SOULS…..our minds!!  

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They have to be renewed daily to what God says about us and so that we can recognize what the enemy says about us.  This is why the bible teaches us that we are not fighting against flesh and blood, but against principalities and darkness and everything that exalts itself over and against our God.

So, how do I fight my wars?  

Yesterday, I went for a walk with Jesus, by the ocean, that included a path through the mountains. 005

It was a glorious day of sunshine and I was totally focusing on Jesus and seeking His strength in the trials I am facing right now. 

There is some things that seem impossible in the natural; things happening in my life right now, and I could feel the struggle within my soul of good over evil. 

Fear was hovering off to my side just waiting to grab hold of my thought life.  I could feel its insidious force trying to penetrate.  I kept my course.  I started praying every scripture I could think of.  When I ran out of things to say I repeated the name of Jesus over and over. 

5s_impressive_rocks-sharpen-reduced-SD-ND-Wy-5_500-987x749  I looked up and there on the mountainside was this hideous rock formation that resembled the face of a demon with a fish body.  

It seemed to be mocking me.  For a moment my environment seemed dark.  I looked through the forest off to my side and it was dark.  And then I looked again and there were all these streams of bright light penetrating the darkness.  Out of my mouth I began to sing, out of 86f7deccc7eee45635db64b68d60e133--beautiful-pictures-beautiful-places

Psalms 25,

“Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul

Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul

O my God, I trust in thee:

Let me not be ashamed,

Let not mine enemies triumph over me.”

I sang it over and over until I felt the temptation to fear leave me.  Throughout the rest of the day I continued to hear evil reports but I maintained my thoughts on the possibilities of Jesus and what He so wants to accomplish in my life.

There are so many tools he gives us to fight this good fight of faith and to keep our shields up to ward off the fiery darts that satan aims at us.

  1. Pray the word.  Put your name right in there as you pray.  Or pray the word over your family or others you may be called to pray for until you see God’s intervention.  Faith comes by hearing yourself speak truth!!  An example:  Psalms 91:1&2 Amp:

 

screen_shot_2012-09-10_at_10.18.10_am Lord, I thank you that because I dwell in the secret place of You, oh most high, I shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of You, my Almighty God, whose power NO foe can withstand…………..”

  1. Sing the word of God.  I love singing my prayers.  It slows down my mind.  And many times, in the Spirit, I have heard Him singing back to me in my own voice in answer to my song.  It is really beautiful.

  2. Let the Holy Spirit pray through you.  Just go with it and His leading in however He shows you to pray.

  3.         The Name of Jesus…..When the heat is turned up and I just can’t seem to pray anything, I just say the name of Jesus over and over.  In Acts it says that there is no other name as powerful as the name of Jesus, and at the mention of that name every knee has to bow in both heaven and earth.   So the way I see it, even if you can’t do anything else when you just say His name He is right there fighting for you.

The real secret to really dwelling in His presence is pretty simple. 

Be intimate with Him. 

Sit with Him. Jesus-By-My-Side-342x200

Journal to Him. 

jesus-christ-widescreen-wallpapers-04Have coffee with Him. 

Get to know Him.  Let Him speak to you and step out in faith and believe that it is Him.   In that way, you learn to recognize His voice over the voice of satan.  

0006948_abide-with-me_1000Remember it is His sheep that hear His voice and the voice of a stranger they will not follow.

Stay vigilant my friends!!  We win!!

 

Interested in Life Coaching with me for more?   Email me from this web site!!  We’ll talk!!

   Me

 

Beware…5 Ways to Discern a Wolf

Wolves2   Wolves come in all manner of disguises…in our relationships, as well as in our places of worship.   Sometimes truth gets blurred and manipulated and  lines get crossed in our relationships in all walks of life, but, in my opinion, even more so in the body of Christ.   

Because we are dangerous to the enemy.  

normalThings once seen as black and white, may start to appear more gray. It may seem harder to recognize what’s true or what’s false. What’s light and what’s dark. 

As a Life Coach I see this same thing happening in personal relationships.  We can get so needy we ignore the warning signs of a true wolf, and yield to the deceptive manipulations and convince ourselves that what we see right in front of us won’t apply to our lives.  So we let them in.   And it doesn’t take long for the teeth to come out. 

 wolf4  Friends, there is a real enemy who prowls around seeking someone to devour.    He’ll stop at nothing to gain new ground. He and his forces have quoted God’s words since the beginning of time, twisting it, trying their best to manipulate truth, and their main goal is to deceive and lead astray. 

He knows how to spy out needy women or men who have not learned to let Jesus be their everything and they long to fill those empty places with another person, rather than the One who was met to fill those needs. 

titi  There is an invisible V (for victim) on their foreheads that turns into a neon sign when a wolf is near.  He sees it and comes in for the kill.

 The wolves know who God is and they “shudder” in fear at His name.  They know that God alone will be victorious and no matter what traps are used today to try to distract us away from Him, in the end, they will not win.  But for us, if we don’t obey those warnings, we will find ourselves in the pit of pain and confusion.

 Many times the wolf disguised in sheep’s clothing knows God’s Word better than we thought, crafting and twisting it so much, we might even find ourselves feeling confused over what real truth is anymore.  You can always identify this type of wolf as a religious spirit.

 So how can we protect ourselves–and discern what is happening when we meet a wolf? 

 

Alone_in_the_Crowd_by_Cunny1988-600x450   Know the real and you’ll know what is false.

How do you do that?

wolf  1.Watch

 

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. Matt. 7:15

God reminds us in His Word to “watch out,” “beware,” to stay awake. He knows and understands how difficult it can be to fight this spiritual battle. Some days we get weary, or we get so busy and distracted, we’re not watching anymore for ways we might get tripped up.  But he tells us, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” 1 Cor. 16:13 

He desires the best for us and knows how important it is for us to live aware. He freely gives us his strength and protection to stand strong each day, he will never leave us defenseless on our own. 

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN WEAKNESSES AND NEEDINESS. 

 wolf5 2.   Know What is Real

…and you’ll know the fake too.

 God’s Word is clear, it says they’ll be known by their fruits. Not by how charming they are.  Not by how much money they have. Not by how many followers they have. Not by how many books they have written or the great things they have done.

They’ll be known by what fruit exists in their lives. Is there love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control? What do they say about who Jesus is? We may have to look more closely than what is on the outside. What is in their heart?  How do you discern it?  I have learned if something is too good to be true, it usually is.  See what I did there?  (it usually is deceptive. )

 Eventually, the truth of who they are will be brought into the light. 

 “He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.” 1 Cor. 4:5 

 0006948_abide-with-me_1000 3.  Know Jesus Intimately

 “For even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.” 2 Cor. 11:14-15

 Sometimes deception may be hidden well, but if you have a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus and His words you will know when something isn’t right.  

 

Obey that feeling!!

 

Press in close to God. Spend time in His presence. Pray, talk with Him, listen to His voice through His word. Staying close to His side, living under the protection of His armor and covering, helps us to know when we’re staring straight into falsehood.

 Pentecost_by_purple_whirlpool 4. Trust Your Counselor, Holy Spirit

 God gives us His Spirit to guide us in discernment and wisdom. 

 “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth…”John 16

 

He tells us “I have told you ahead of time,” so that we will be prepared and watching.

Walking in the Spirit and not in the flesh.

We don’t have to wander through life blindly, unsure of what’s true and what’s not.   

 

When feeling unsettled or sensing something is just not “quite right,” we can press in close to Him, knowing He’s faithful to guide us.

 wolf3  5.  Choose Friends You Can Trust 

Use caution in who you listen to and choose to take guidance from. Sometimes when we’re in a place where it’s hard to see clearly we need trusted friends to bounce things off of.      Learning to listen to one another and take into consideration what the other might be sensing or discerning can often have great power in saving us from a lot of pain and trouble up ahead.  

 “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Prov. 11:14

Standing strong together, on Christ the Solid Rock.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

4 Myths You May Believe About Your Calling

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As a Life Purpose Coach I believe that we are all called, have gifts and talents, and are incredibly loved by our Creator.  Everything that we encounter in life prepares us for the next season in our calling.

 I also believe that everyone of our gifts are as important as the next persons.   We are all working towards the same goals and each and every one of us are highly loved and valued by Jesus!

 Jesus-By-My-Side-342x200 What I’ve discovered over the years is that many women have an incredibly difficult time discerning what that calling is. The trials of life and the many mixed or misunderstood messages they have heard from various teachers have left them feeling like they never measure up to what God has for them to do.  For these struggling women, certain myths about calling are getting in the way of discovering what God truly has for them.

 If you’re feeling lost trying to discern God’s calling for your life, consider these myths that may be tripping you up.

Myth #1: It’s About You  sb_passiveagressive2

The process of discovering your calling may necessitate some serious self-reflection, but make no mistake: It’s not really about you. Calling is not about self-fulfillment. It is a discovery of your preciousness, your beauty, and your gifting…..a plan set up for you from before you were born to fulfill….and the revealing of it is directly related to what you have experienced in your life through every trial and every experience, both positive and negative, to prepare and train you to be able to see others come to know who He is through your life.

Calling is a revealing and fulfillment of God’s will for your life.

Many people experience a special sense of satisfaction that comes from exercising their God-given gifts, talents, and passions, but that sense of fulfillment is a byproduct of being in God’s will, not the goal.

womanatthewellbylizlemonswindle    To discern what God’s will may be, you do need to look inward. You must seek to “know yourself” in order to discover God’s unique creation in you.   Sometimes we can’t see outside of ourselves and being in community with other’s who know you can help to get a better picture.  This is why we need each other.

 And sometimes we miss the obvious– thinking it couldn’t possibly be important enough to be a calling.  I have had women come to me in their season of child rearing, crying because they just don’t feel important to God because He has not revealed to them a calling.   And there beside them stood their children.  

 hannah2  Do you know raising children is one of the highest callings there is?   To raise a child to love and honor God with their own lives is the calling of a Mother.   Yes, one  day those babies will be on their own and you will be free to pursue other gifts and callings, as each season of your life reveals more and prepares us for the next season.

 

 fear   

Myth #2: If It’s Uncomfortable, It Can’t Be Your Calling

Nope, not even close.   Figuring out your calling isn’t an instant ticket to a smooth life and career.  As a matter of fact sometimes we get so stuck in our comfort zones of dysfunction, we would choose to stay there, because at least it is familiar, right?

 Knowing what you are meant to be doing is really just the beginning of what may be a long and arduous journey of hardship and defeat. Some of the most successful, inspired people throughout history have  pursuit of their paths that has included feeling like a failure….but rest assured,

 Not one of your failures is wasted…it is all a part of the plan, and what makes the difference is that you

 DON’T GIVE UP!!

 

sad  For most of my life I struggled with what I was doing, even when I was very busy doing “the work of the Lord”, the way I saw it…,

God is never finished with us and even while I was so busy, make no mistake, He continued to reveal to me those places I kept hidden that needed to be healed.  I fell flat on my face many times.

I faced plenty of hardships and failures at work and in my personal life. These challenges helped me grow and learn more about God and more about how God created me to serve him, eventually leading me into Life Coaching much to my surprise.   Now that I am a Life Coach and have been for many years, I continue to enter into places of so much pain I sometimes question where He is taking me now.

Your calling is most of the time a stretch assignment. Moses is a great biblical example:

Pentecost_by_purple_whirlpool  He had no doubt about what God wanted him to do.  God spoke to Moses through the burning bush, giving him clear marching orders about his next steps.

 Isn’t this what we all kind of wish for when we’re searching for our calling?

But Moses’ calling didn’t sound all that great to him:

 “But who am I that I should go?”

 004-moses-burning-bush  Moses questioned God, voicing the fear, 

 

“I’m not important enough.”

 But God answered, “I will be with you.” Then, Moses continued pressing back, asking, “What if they do not believe me?” 

 “I’m not impressive enough!” 

 In response, God provided him with miraculous signs. But it still wasn’t enough for Moses, who came back with the worry, “But I am slow of speech and tongue.” 

“I don’t know what to say.”

 God assured Moses that he would speak through him.

 Moses was called to a task God designed for him, but it clearly didn’t feel good.  He tried every way he could think of to convince God that he was the wrong man for the job, and then finally, when that didn’t work, he came right out and asked God to “please send someone else.”

 Alone_in_the_Crowd_by_Cunny1988-600x450     Your discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re on the wrong path.

 

Myth #3: Choosing Wrong Can Thwart God’s Will

 gods-will   I know women (and men too) who seem to agonize endlessly over every major choice in their lives, calling included, because they’re afraid of choosing wrongly. It’s good to want to make the best choice you can, but at some point you just need to make a choice and go from there. If you find yourself worrying excessively about your calling, ask yourself whether this is really about discerning God’s will or whether you may be trying to control God’s will.

 Your choices are important, but, when you are seeking Him with your whole heart,  no choice you can make is outside of God’s sovereignty.  Seriously…it is NOT that easy to miss God.  Do you think He is not able to transcend your humanness, and lead you right into His perfect will…even when you think you are the one making the decisions?

If you had asked me 20 or 30 years ago where I would end up, I never would have foreseen the course my life would take.    I now look back and am just amazed by God’s providence over all of it.

jesus-and-me 

Myth #4: Your Calling Is Settled

 Discovering your calling isn’t something you do once, or even twice. It’s not something you get to check off of a list and move on from.

The life of a Christian entails a constant process of discovering your calling. Just because God has called you to a particular purpose at a particular time doesn’t mean his plans for you are the same in every season….each season of our lives has a new calling that builds on the last one….nothing stays the same forever.

Looking back at my own life, I can see God shaping and shifting my calling over the years.

 Each chapter of my life God continued to call and lead me through one season to the next.   Some of the things that happened to me to bring me to this place today is astounding, painful, challenging, and sometimes unbelievable.   In every phase my calling has looked and felt different, but God has been a consistent foundation throughout.  And even when I was in total denial about my own issues that needed work, His will was accomplished in other’s lives through my calling.   Astounding to me.

 Who knows what the next chapter of life will bring?

0006948_abide-with-me_1000Everyone’s calling is going to look different—and each season will bring a new process of discernment. Just remember, God is in control. He loves you and me, and his will for us will always bring us closer to him.

May you begin your discernment journey with courage and humility.

 

Me    Of course you know that I am a Life Purpose Coach.  So, I would be remiss to not invite you to contact me if you need help in this season of your life to discern where God is taking you.  You may feel stuck in this chapter and need a mentor to challenge you and help you to move forward.   Just call or email me from my web page and we will chat!!   

Boundaries! 7 Ways to Stop Fixing People and Empower Yourself.

922705_559351900752675_116486065_n  Having no boundaries in your personal life will strain personal relationships and the accumulation of frustration and miscommunication as a result of no boundaries will  ultimately create resentment that will lead you into very toxic relationships.

Person-under-doormat    No boundaries can also keep you in that victim mentality.

Here’s the truth – if you don’t create clear boundaries for yourself in all of your relationships, you can’t expect the people in your life to know what you want or don’t want.  Healthy boundaries allow for an equal partnership where both the power and responsibilities are shared.  Especially in marriages, but this mindset will affect everything you do, from friends, to work, to church, to children.

Boundaries help us define who we are and provides us with a definite sense of self. People who learn how to set personal boundaries thrive because they have created a level of personal control within their life, whereas people who do not set personal boundaries tend to be stressed and overwhelmed with too much to do and not enough time to do the things they want.

sb_passiveagressive2Most people have a hard time saying the word NO.

Inevitably, until we set personal boundaries and learn to say no, the quality of our lives  will suffer in so many ways.

freedomWhen we learn to say “No” more often, or just learn to say “Yes” on our terms, we free ourselves from the burden of pleasing others therefore allowing ourselves more time and freedom to do what we feel matters most .

Examples:  

  • Your adult children ask you for money and you go ahead and give it them against your better judgment even though they don’t take responsibility for their own budgeting.

  • Your coworkers delegate tasks to you that they should be doing, but you do the extra work because you want to please them and be liked.

  • Your husband tells you that it’s your fault he lost his temper and was abusive and you take on the guilt for his choices and actions.  

  • Someone from your church asks you to volunteer for a new project, and out of guilt you say “yes” when you really should say “no” because your schedule is already overloaded and you are exhausted.

 

Sound familiar?

 

All of these scenarios reflect a lack of boundaries – limits that can help you avoid unnecessary stress and enjoy the peace God wants you to experience.

 

relationship difficulties You may tend to respond to other people’s needs at the expense of your own and then suffer from the chaos that comes from a life without proper boundaries.   I see it often in coaching. 

 

Do you want some ideas on how to  start setting boundaries in your life and start enjoying peace?

 

  1. Shift your focus from your circumstances to how you respond to those circumstances. 

 

God will empower you to change your life for the better if you change the way you respond to your circumstances. While you often can’t control your circumstances, you can always control how you respond to those circumstances as you surrender them to God and follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance to set the appropriate boundaries. Doing so will honor both God and you, because it will please God to see you living with the respect He intends for you.

 

  1. Keep in mind that taking control isn’t the same as being controlling.

Setting boundaries isn’t about trying to control other people; instead, it’s about being clear about what you will and will not accept in your life in order to claim your God-given spiritual authority and guard your heart from harm. You never need to feel guilty about setting boundaries with the people in your life.  Jesus did it all the time.  He had very strong boundaries.  No one deterred Him from His mission.  People will actually have more respect for you when you are strong and firm in your boundaries.

 

  1. Distinguish between helping and enabling others.

Consider whether or not you’re actually helping the people you’re trying to help. Helping is doing things for people that they are not capable of doing for themselves.

 

doormat     But Enabling leads people to depend on you in unhealthy ways – AND is doing things for people that they could and should be doing themselves.

 

Recognize that when you’re enabling people rather than helping them, you’re creating an atmosphere in which others can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior. Even though you intend to help, if you’re enabling you’re actually hurting other people, and yourself, in the process.  You enable them to not take responsibility for their own lives.  Thus draining yourself.

 

Recognize that setting boundaries is vital in order to fulfill God’s purposes for your life. Instead of letting other people distract you from living the life God intends for you, claim the spiritual authority God has given you by setting the boundaries He leads you to set in your life.

 

254865_440342676028286_2145415378_n   Pray for the confidence you need to overcome whatever fears have been holding you back from setting proper boundaries in your life.

 

The more you learn how to apply biblical wisdom to your life, the better you’ll be able to set boundaries that will help you accomplish God’s will.

 

  1. Stop your own negative behavior.

Ask God to help you identify specific negative attitudes and behaviors in your life that are contributing to a lack of boundaries and the resulting stress. Then decide to stop your destructive patterns and pray for power from the Holy Spirit each day to replace your unhealthy attitudes and behaviors with healthy ones.

533101_323586567703898_2131335984_n Don’t waste time or energy anymore on trying to get the other people in your life to change; that will never work. Instead, focus on simply changing yourself, with God’s help.  You will never get someone else to change their behavior.   You have to change.

 

YOU are NOT the savior of anyone.  Jesus is!!  womanatthewellbylizlemonswindle

 

Seek the support and encouragement of some caring Christians whom you can trust to help you on your journey to set proper boundaries in your life.  Or get yourself a Life Coach to walk the journey with you a while to show you how.  (Contact me if interested!)   dixie1

 

  1. Nip excuses in the bud.

Don’t tolerate any more excuses from either yourself (about why you’re not setting boundaries in your life) or other people (about why they want to step over boundaries that you’ve set for them).

 

Ask God to help you stand firm so you can make real and lasting changes in your life. Say “no” clearly and without guilt whenever you sense that you should say “no.” Doing so will give you the freedom to say “yes” to activities that the Holy Spirit convicts you to pursue.

 

You will feel so empowered!!  birdcage

 

 

  1. Trust the voice of the Spirit.Pay attention to how the Holy Spirit speaks to you about boundaries. Listen for the Spirit’s guidance about boundaries every day in prayer, and be sensitive to the Spirit’s promptings in every situation you encounter. In some situations, the Spirit will restrain you from taking action, and in others, the Spirit will urge you to take action move forward.

 

Yield everything to God. Live to please God alone, and don’t worry about pleasing other people. Let go of everything that holds you back from fulfilling God’s purposes for you, including: unrealistic expectations, negative emotions, and Satan’s lies. Trust God to give you peace and guidance to change your life forever!!

 

Contact me at dixie@reflectionsofgracehome.com to set up a coaching call!