I Remembered How Small I Am


september_blog1_daybed_porch_swing_myhomeideas I recently was talking to a  client that was  being so  totally honest with me and  pouring  out her heart, that I,  too, began to identify  with  what she was saying. 

 Ever have that happen?

 This, in essence is what she  said to me,

 “I spend most of my regular  time believing  that God has a  plan for my life, but then I take  most of that time trying to  figure out specifically what that is.  Knowing that I’m supposed to share my faith with friends and strangers, but usually feeling too exhausted or irritable to actually do it.

I agree that God wants to do great things in my life, but I feel  like a failure because all that greatness seems so often submerged in mediocrity.  I am exhausted just trying to figure it all out.”

 I thought, ”Wow, this is me sometimes.  I know He has a plan for me and I know it is big.   But today I want to just do nothing.  I want to take a nap from all this greatness!!


Hmmmm… Maybe all of this striving, and  guilt, and frustration, is actually
 not what  God wants most.


 530443_10150790377567355_563857079_nMaybe, what Jesus desires for us,  more  than anything, is that we  recover a pace that  allows us to  breathe and receive.


 Could it be possible, that your most  pressing personal mission, is not  about you doing anything at all.

 Here’s a thought!  What if God’s  plan for your life right now, was not  that you save souls or change  worlds, but that you take a nap?

 I gave myself permission one day to  stop reading, and studying, and writing, and thinking, and doing God stuff, and I simply laid down in our backyard swing by my waterfall.

 I purposefully didn’t wrestle with any great spiritual truths, or any nagging questions about the future, or death, or my personal, God-designed plan; I just rested and let my mind wonder.  I “considered the lilies of the field” as it were.  

 I let myself become cocooned in the lightness of His presence without thinking I needed to be “doing” anything else.  I drifted in and out of a blissful sleep. 

 I could hear birds chirping and I enjoyed the fragrance of my Angel Trumpets blooming nearby.  

 And something really great, and quite spiritual, happened while I laid there.

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 I remembered how small I  am.

 I noticed the trees shifting in  the wind, and the sounds of  birds, and the shade of blue  above me.

 As I did, I was struck with the  thought that God doesn’t just  a have a plan for me,

God HAS ME!

 It could be true that God wants you to change the world and as a matter of fact, I am sure of it.  But more than that, God wants you to find peace in His presence…..

…to be able to rest in the questions and in the undone;

…To pause and realize that His greatest plan is not that you save anything.

You are the one being saved. 

 If you never went any further than today, I am convinced His highest for you is to have a love relationship with Him that surpasses all else in your life,  and to rest in that. 

 He is not a driving task master. 

 What Jesus wants to teach us is to live at home in Him.  This is not a theology to subscribe to, but a way to live all day, every day.

545570_417758148257124_357419294_n (1) Living with Jesus has absolutely  nothing to do with where you are on  Sunday morning at 10:00 and  everything to do with following him  through each day. He made all of life  sacred by coming to live in us and  becoming a part of everything we do.

 We sometimes over complicate things.  The reason people have trouble  discovering this reality is because they  don’t believe it is as simple as it really  is. Living in communion with him is  what he shapes in a willing heart as we  learn to relax in his love.

 Right where you are he can show you how to live at home in the Father, confident in his love, and at peace even in times of trouble

 If you are not at rest in God’s love for you, no amount of human contact will fill that void; it can only mask it. Let your loneliness draw you into a greater depth of relationship with him and then a new way of relating to others emerges.

 He is the Jesus who has given you freedom.  He paid the ultimate price so that you can be free to just love Him.   It is in that love that you find your place to just BE!    Any service for Him will flow out of that.

 So, lighten up on yourself.  I give you permission to enjoy your life and to have fun, and enjoy simple trust.  

 
nap Now go nap your way into that truth.

I am Invisible…..Do You See Me?

hiding She came with a hoodie  covering her bowed head  that day.  She was very petite  in stature and seemed to    draw her own countenance  within herself as she sat  downcast in my office with  tears streaming.  She had  been beaten down  emotionally by an abusive  and demeaning husband  who had a girlfriend and told her she had to live with it.

Unbelievable!  

She came defeated.  

She came with no hope. 

Her pain was palpable.

I was fairly new to coaching at that time and earnestly prayed for Holy Spirit’s help to reach this new client.   Little did I know she was the beginning of Holy Spirit showing me what kind of coaching practice He was calling me to.  

I was to learn to “see”.   eye

I prayed for Jesus to help me really “see” her.  Not just the outward appearance of defeat, but to see her. 

HER! 

Let me see her heart Lord!

And when I looked there it was.

Broken.

Buried.

Hopeless.

And something else…..I had to look close and with faith, but there it was;  A diamond that was still buried in the rubble, but there it was none the less–An inner beauty and a love for God.

diamond

And in the months that followed in coaching her I witnessed the Holy Spirit transform this buried treasure into a beautiful woman of God who allowed Him to set her free in a most profound way. 

It was amazing to watch and to think I was so blessed as to get to watch Jesus open this young woman’s eyes to who she really was all along.   This is what she wrote: 

When I first walked into Dixie’s home I was at one of the lowest points of my life. I was sad, confused, and hopeless. I felt like a complete failure in life. I had been medically discharged from the USAF after almost eight years of service and couldn’t find a job to support myself and my medical bills. I had also just discovered that my husband had been having an affair for about 6 months. He said he was in love with this other woman, but that he loved me too. So I was pretty much an emotional wreck with all the time in the world to sit and think about how my life was caving in on me. I couldn’t even remember the last time I laughed. I told Dixie I felt like I had nothing to offer anyone and Dixie told me she could help me discover God’s plan for my life. I really didn’t think I could handle sharing the negative pieces of my life with a stranger, but when I spoke with Dixie she was just so comforting. I felt like I was talking to my sister. There was a positive glow that radiated from her and I decided to give the coaching a chance. I’m certainly glad that I did! Early in the coaching I realized that Satan had been lying to me. He’d been keeping me trapped in my past and my negative mindset. The time I spent with Dixie allowed me to recognize my value and my worth as a child of God. I learned to surrender my hurts and mistaken thinking to God. I became aware that God loved me no matter what! I discovered that I had enormous strength through Him and started finding the passions in my life that I did!

She eventually left the area and moved away, and now has a beautiful little boy she delights in. 

Years later after her stint with Life Coaching, I was in the area she lived and contacted her to meet for lunch.   When I walked into the restaurant all I saw was a beautiful, light of a woman smiling ear to ear from one of the booths.  She radiated Jesus!  I didn’t recognize the transformation until she jumped up and ran over to give me a big bear hug. 

support_groups Amazing grace!

 Just Wow!

 Learning how to really see a  person is a supernatural  Jesus thing.  He is the  transformer.  It is His eyes  we ask for.  In the natural we  see the outside appearance  of a person.  But when we ask for His eyes, we see their heart. 

People long to be seen.  To feel worth it!

He will give us His eyes to really see to the heart of a person.  There are so many crying out to really be seen; lost in the world of darkness and pain and feel there is no way out.

Jesus is pretty well-known for his miracles; for beautiful, unbelievable, mind altering, nature-defying acts, and for his teaching; those incredible, wild, heart-piercing words that have shaped our very lives.


25276_347990456355_4322645_n
 Scriptures remind us that it was  Jesus’ vision, His divine eyes, that made  Him who He was then and who He is now.

 

 As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of  Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called  Peter and his brother Andrew. They were  casting a net into the lake, for they were  fishermen. Matthew 4:18

 Do you think He really saw to their core and knew where He would take them?

 Some men brought to him a paralyzed man, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the man, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.”  Matt: 9:2

What?  What sins?  How did He know?

 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36

The so called unimportant people.  How did He know they were harassed and helpless?  He also knew they were hungry.  Here come the loaves and fish to feed multitudes…..

When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Luke 13:12

 

309148_275390375904036_1522969089_n The woman who thought no one SAW  her.

 

 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the  Jews who had come along with her  also weeping, he was deeply moved in  spirit and troubled.  John 11:33

 

He saw their hearts.  He felt what they felt!

Over and over again, Jesus shows us that what we see, is as important as what we say, or even, what we believe.

It’s a supernatural gift that God offers; a blessing of the spiritual eyes, to see what other people can’t see, or sad to say, refuse to see.

Too often, we become selective in our sight, and we miss so many opportunities to reflect His character, and in the process, we miss seeing countless people who cross our paths every day; those who spend most of their lives feeling invisible.   Even when we meet with believers we many times don’t really see them.

 Maybe we have grown hardened, and voluntarily choose to close our eyes, to those we find distasteful or inconvenient or messy.  We don’t have time.  Perhaps you should read my disclosure of my attitude with a homeless man.  You will find it in the archives entitled, The Homeless Man and the Bottle of Tea.

But regardless of the reason, we need our vision restored.

If there’s a prayer the Church can pray today, that will bring revolution to the body of Christ, and life to the invisible people outside its doors, its: “Jesus, teach me how to see again.”

 2Won’t you who claim the eyes of Jesus, go  out there, and make someone feel visible  today?

Who Cares Why the Elephant is Standing on Your Foot? Just Get Him Off.

Support Groups PicYears ago I conducted support  groups for women who were  sexually traumatized as children.  They came in trembling and uncertain to face their  victimizations.  Many for the first time ever.  They learned that after the telling of their story, and dealing with all the ramifications (grief, shame,  horror, anger, etc.) throughout each session, that soon it was time to move on.  They then were directed into healing and a new realization of their worth, their callings, and who they really were in Christ.  Subsequently, their decision to be free of the past was what set them free.  It was a priceless experience for me to witness these women who came in as victims leave the group as victors and take control of their own lives.

By contrast, some of those women shared with me that they had been in secular support groups for years, and each week all they ever did was talk about their victimizations over and over.  And they never seemed to find healing.  They just relived the past over and over.

You can spend hours and hours working out your past life traumas.  You can talk about it all day long. 

And many do.

You can trace the root causes of where your pain began and find the ultimate reason why you are so stuck.

Been there too!

But there comes a time in our lives where we finally have to shift our attention, not on the past, but where we would rather be. 

And there comes a time when we have to accept that to move forward it is up to us to let go of the pain and start moving.  

When we feel like all we are doing is constantly rehashing the past and are not moving forward it is the time to just do it! 

The Lord can only fix us when we are willing to let Him.

emotional-painSometimes our past has brought us so much attention, and if we were to be honest, we don’t really want to let it go.  Even though it is a miserable place to be it feels more comfortable than the unknown.  Even when the unknown is the place of finally healing. 

Familiar friends, I call them….but very toxic and not our friends at all.

I’ve had at least a thousand conversations with sweet clients and friends about wanting to be unstuck and wanting to see their desires come to pass and find success in life.  The ones who truly found healing were the ones who were willing to process the past and take the steps to let it go and find God’s purposes for them today.

Recapitulating the past can provide a lot of comfort and confirmation. And is necessary in most cases to gain understanding of why we do what we do.

But…too much analysis can create a type of paralysis, and work against us, preventing us from moving forward.

607418-elephantSomeone said, “Who cares why the Elephant is standing on your foot?  Just get him off.”

Sometimes we can’t see why we were stuck until after we get unstuck.

You have a new path to take, and it looks nothing like your last path.

Don’t get me wrong.  We have to look at our past to move forward.   As a Life Coach I believe that when what is in darkness within our souls comes to the light with a trusted mentor/coach, the darkness has to go. 

It loses its power over us.  The power lies in the secret, in the silence.

As an incest survivor it wasn’t until I told someone for the first time what had happened to me that my healing began.  The power that secret had over me suddenly disappeared the moment I told. 

support_groupsSo, yes, we must tell a trusted coach, mentor, or therapist our story to move forward and get unstuck and sometimes to break generational patterns.

 So going there is necessary…

BUT STAYING THERE IS NOT!  

Learning to let go of our pain once and for all is a huge step towards being healthy, spirit, soul, and body.

People who hold on to these past hurts often relive the pain over and over in their minds.  Sometimes a person can get “stuck” in this pain, in this hurt, in this blame their whole lives.

The only way you can accept new joy and happiness into your life is to make space for it.  If your heart is filled with pain and hurt, how can you be open to anything new?

Make the decision to let it go.

Making the decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go.  To stop reliving the past pain, to stop going over the details of the story in your head.

A very important step is to stop being the victim and blaming others.

Being the victim feels good — it’s like being on the winning team of you against the world.

But in reality, and I hate to say this, but in general the world largely doesn’t care.

Yes, you’re special.

Yes, your feelings matter.

But don’t confuse “your feelings matter” to “your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters”.

Your feelings are just one part of this large thing we call life, which is all interwoven and complex.

And messy.

In every moment, you have that choice — to continue to feel bad about another person’s actions, or to start feeling good.

You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put such power into the hands of another person.  Why would you let the person who hurt you — in the past — have such power, right here, right now?

No amount of rumination of hurt has ever fixed a relationship problem.

Never.

Focus on the present — the here and now — and the joy that you have in the Lord.  It is there for your taking…but again, you have to choose it!

light and darkness Choices!  

Let go of the past, and stop reliving it.  You can’t undo the past, all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

Our lives should not be defined by our pain.  It’s not healthy, it adds to our stress, it hurts our ability to focus on the good in us that God put there, and it impacts every other relationship we have (even the ones not directly affected by the hurt).

Every day you choose to hold on to the pain is another day everybody around you has to live with that decision.  And feel its consequences.

Let go of the pain.  Do something different today and welcome happiness back into your life. 

dixie1If you need help with letting go of your pain and moving forward, as a Life Purpose Coach, I can help you with that.  Click here to read some of my clients’ Success Stories and letters of freedom from the past!

“Let It Go” Isn’t Just a Song….7 Steps to Surrender

breaking_chains.208145743_std A few years back, (well, maybe about 25) I worked as a Medical Staff Coordinator in the Administrative Department of our local hospital.  I had worked my way up from the Cardiovascular Department to the one job that no one else could do, or so I  thought.  I felt pretty secure in my job, and as a single mom knew that it could only get better from there…

…until the day I was fired.

I was called into the CEO’s office and let go due to layoffs in the hospital in general.  The Administrative secretary had convinced the CEO that she could do my job as well as her own, and save the hospital money.  (Which sabotaged her own job in the end, but I digress).

Since they were laying off R.N’s due to the cutbacks, I became the sacrificial lamb, the big example for Administration to use to show they were ‘suffering’ as well.

This lay off came as a total shock and I was just so unprepared for it that it took several days for me to realize I had no income or job in the future.  As I drove away from the hospital that last day feeling like my life was over, I drove past a huge dirt lot across the street from the hospital. 

“You will work there”, Jesus whispered.

“Huh, what?  There?  On that dirt lot?” I quivered.

Yes, you will work in that exact place, Dixie. Trust me!” He said.


Two years later, after a stint of working in a nearby city at a medical clinic, I was hired as the new Human Resource Manager and Medical Staff Coordinator of a brand new medical clinic built on that dirt corner where Jesus told me I would work.

Looking back I see now I was primed to learn about surrendering all to God because I was convinced that I was indestructible and I fully believed that my job was safe, and that it was forever.  Boy did I need a few lessons.

praying-womanIt is usually at the peak of arrogance that we feel the first blow pointing towards true surrender, and we reluctantly do it because we have to!  Isn’t that God’s patient way with us?  He allows us to come to the fact that there is just no other choice.

Here are a few things I have learned about surrender along my journey that I share with you…

By the way, it is NEVER easy because we are human.   This is how I learned what surrendering means, the hard way, and the TRUE way:

  1. It is usually when there is no other place to turn but to God; we are maxed out of ideas and there is no way out.

There was no way out.  I had no choice but to once again surrender my life and my fears of not being able to support my 2 kids, to God.  Why is that always the LAST thing we do instead of the first thing?

In the end we have to accept the changes that happened, that things may never be the same as the way they were, and that we get to make choices.

Stop fighting the reality that this is real.

mind-clutterWe could be OK with it and flow with God, or be miserable for the rest of whatever time we struggle.

  1. Stop murmuring and complaining!

Complaining only diminishes your faith and robs you of your joy…you believe it when you hear yourself saying it.  It makes us pretty unlovely people and we drive others away from us.  Who wants to listen to that every time they are around you?

Someone said that non-complaining is a muscle, and as such, it needs practice. 

So practice your non-complaining muscle.

What did murmuring get the children of Israel as they wandered through the desert?  Nothing, but Quail up to the eyeballs!

  1. Being thankful for what you have, and, here is the key, WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE…..YET!

Know that He always has a plan and isn’t going to let you sink.

Thankfulness is one of the most powerful forces in the Kingdom of God.

If you list just ten things you are grateful for today then suddenly you have “perspective”. 

When you live in a state of thankfulness, you see yourself for what you are, and sometimes you don’t like what you see and now have the opportunity to change it.

Never underestimate the power of gratitude when you are trying to surrender.  It is like a shortcut, it gets you there really fast, and underlies how blessed you are, already.

It’s not easy to think with gratitude when we feel like we are in the gutter…  

…but let’s just get over ourselves already. 

Life is not easy for most of us.  It is a choice to rise above our situations at every moment of the day.

  1. BE STILL and know He is God!

jesus and meWhoa, now this is a hard one and goes back to our minds being the battlefield that either makes or breaks us in our storms.  Learning to breath, praise and be thankful, and simply just be in His presence, is right where He wants us.

Learning to let go of our fears and let them go to Him and not allow them entrance into our minds anymore is most of the battle of true surrender.

It was not easy, I wanted to scream, list all the reasons why it was impossible, and complain.  But I did not.

Amazing!

When we shut up and just BE, circumstances resolve themselves right in front of our eyes.

I practice shutting up all the time now. I know how powerful it is. Talk about the power of surrendering those words of anger!  No room to do that when you are sitting in the presence of God almighty!

  1. GIVE UP CONTROL

In my loss of job situation I could not control anything, but I could “intend” to change jobs.  But I was pretty much at His mercy in how it happened.  I searched, but He is the one who directed me to the right places to find employment.  And I did as I learned to take one day at a time and learned to trust instead of fear.

That took a while…I am no different than you are.

With a clear intention I let go of how I thought things were going to happen because I had no control over the “how”.

Sometimes things move way too slow.  Sometimes they don’t move at all.  We can intend and keep our vision that He is traveling this journey with us and wait for the break through.

Funny thing about the how…when it happens it looks so obvious and is a “Wow, didn’t see that coming”… but we can never anticipate or control it.

  1. LETTING GO OF THE PICTURE

I have always been one who tried to fit everything into a picture I had in my head of how it was supposed to be.  It was my place of denial and avoidance.  I learned this mind survival skill as a child escaping my perpetrator who was molesting me.  It was no longer working for me as an adult, but I was still doing it.  I had to stop and face reality.

Sometimes I get what I want.

But the thing that gets me is that what I get is NEVER how I pictured it in the first place.

Funny how that is.cupped hands

As surrendering gets more in tune with God we begin to realize that everything we tell ourselves is just a story out of our own minds, based on our own backgrounds.  His pictures of us are very different and is the very best for us.

The mind labels things and prides itself in knowing.  But what “is” with Jesus always happens beyond the ideas that our minds wants to box-in.

  1. BEYOND SURRENDERING

Beyond surrendering we understand–at a intuitive Holy Spirit level–and we begin to live life as a practice of being present for what is arising in this moment, surrendering all concerns to Him as they show up on our radar.

This leads to seeing everything as spiritual.  Because this moment, with its infinite possibilities, is sacred.  We are spiritual beings even when we don’t FEEL spiritual.

535697_353910861338135_812640802_nMiracles happen when we go beyond surrendering and we incorporate it as a way of life. Prayerful surrender becomes a way of life because we have a subtle appreciation that this is the moment where everything is possible.

Just Shoot Me Now! 2 Ways to Heal Shame Wounds

hidingYears ago I was at Santa Barbara City College to witness my friend’s graduation as an X-ray Technician.  The campus was teaming with people that day for there were many students getting various degrees and licenses in their particular fields.  The event was outside and I sat down on the cold metal chair and then realized I had a while to wait so ventured off across campus to find the restrooms.  

I wore a long skirt that day.  After using the restroom hurriedly, I started the long walk back to my chair.  The whole way there people were staring at me weird.

Some had smirks on their faces and some looked away in disgust.  I couldn’t figure out what their problem was and one time I even shot a dirty look back at some guy, like he had a problem or something.  I passed many people on the way back to my chair and they all looked away when I would smile at them. 

When I finally sat down I felt intensely cold metal on my back side and glanced back.  My skirt in the back was completely tucked inside my underwear and my entire back side was exposed to all the ‘millions’ of people that I passed on the way back.  No one had the nerve to tell me! 

Just shoot me now!

I find it very funny now.  Add it to my list of escapades that have provided many chuckles in my story telling on myself. 

But back then I wasn’t as healthy, and had not dealt with much of my denial and secrets of years past born out of being a victim of childhood sexual abuse.  I sat there the whole event cloaked in shame and embarrassment.  I felt exposed and uncovered the whole day and I felt like a child inside with no self esteem who just wanted to run. 

64658_465671946828692_1306119874_nShame is an emotion in which the self is perceived as defective, unacceptable, or fundamentally damaged.  Shame is often confused with guilt, which is a related but distinct emotion in which a specific behavior is viewed as unacceptable or wrong, rather than the entire self.

Brene Brown says, “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.  Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.  Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” 

Shame is darkness to our soul.  We need to learn to recognize it and then let it go into the light of His presence in us.

People who experience traumatic events, mostly in childhood, are prone to shame, particularly if they blame themselves for the event.

Shame gives you a desire to hide, disappear, or even die.

Have you ever done anything you’re not proud of, like feigning a headache to get out of a dinner or snapping at your partner in a heated moment?  You mess up, like we all do, and when it happens, you probably feel guilty and convicted to make it right.

Guilt is a normal emotion that people experience when they believe they have caused harm or actually done something wrong.  We all make mistakes and those mistakes often affect other people, therefore we feel guilt. 

Or there is unfounded guilt, the worst kind.  We could come from a family that used guilt to manipulate us all of our lives.  Such as, “Okay go the movies son, but if I am dead in my chair when you get back, just bury me out back.”

Now that evokes guilt.  Any dutiful son would cancel his plans so that he won’t be responsible for causing Dad to die.  The motivation is guilt.  But that son will carry anger in his heart, and left undealt with, will be with him through adulthood.

Or how about going to see an elderly parent.  The first thing they say to you is “Where have you been?  Why haven’t you come to see me?”  More guilt, instead of rejoicing that you are there now.  The guilt can be so horrible it makes you not want to visit them at all.

But, If your feelings of guilt cause daily anxiety or are out of proportion to the actual mistakes you have made, you might be suffering from an even more toxic emotion:

Shame.

Shame is what I felt that day I was exposed to the world.

Shame is commonly confused with guilt.  People who experience shame often feel bad for every little error they make, and are in a constant state of fear of making more.  For this reason, they feel fear around authority figures, judge themselves harshly, and have a low sense of self esteem.

Guilt says I have done something wrong.

Shame says I AM something wrong.

553486_415888875110718_1880467937_nShame is toxic.

Shame can strip away the joy and freedom that you deserve to experience in your walk.

Shame most often stems from a wounded part of you that was convinced in childhood that you weren’t enough.  Though this is not the truth, it may feel that way, as beliefs that you carry for decades become your reality.

Shame can play a very powerful and negative role in your life, but it doesn’t have to.  God can heal your feelings of shame and you can start living a happier and more empowered life. 

One of the most powerful techniques to healing shame is to practice self compassion.  We need to love ourselves.  How do we do that?

  1. We begin to treat ourselves and talk to ourselves with the same kindness, caring and compassion we would show a good friend or a beloved child.  We find out what God says about us as His precious children and begin to confess that over ourselves in spite of what we feel.  We will eventually begin to believe it.  It will sink into your mind and renew your mind to truth rather than what you have believed all of your life.

When we practice this, it helps us to feel less isolated and alienated from others.  The more shame we feel, the more deficient we feel and in turn, the more separate we feel from others.

  1. Now say those words out loud to yourself.  Take a deep breath and really take in those words.  How does hearing yourself say those words out loud make you feel?  Can you feel your faith grow in your own value in the Kingdom of God.  

The more you practice this the more you will believe it.  Oh, there will be triggers, (like my skirt incident), that will bring back those old familiar feelings, but pay them no attention…pull out those scriptures and start saying them over yourself again.  Sing them over yourself if you feel inclined.  Get them into your spirit and renew your mind!

brokenchainsYou deserve to be free to allow God to lead you into a life of freedom you truly love and to feel worthy of having it.

dixie1For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Eph 2:10 NLT)

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!   Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.  You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.”  NLT(Psalm 139:13-15).

For help with shame issues I would be honored to coach you into freedom.  You can contact me on this web site from the home page.

Hello, Fear. I’ve Been Expecting You…Five Tools to Combat Anxiety

dixie1My journey over the past two years has been one of disbelief, then shock, then denial, then fear, then acceptance, and finally, faith.

But maybe that is wrong. 

Faith had to always be there or I wouldn’t be sane right now.  I have watched God sustain us on very little work for my husband for at least the last 2 years and before that we slowly watched our work source disappear due to California’s changes and cutbacks.  We literally live with no savings and only Him to provide for us.

(You can read about this journey in my new book, 50 Ways to Meet Your Lover, in the “Warfare” section of the book.)

Manna from Heaven.

Well, not literally Manna…yet.   

But envelopes on the door step.  Acquaintances walking up and handing us money.  The givers, giving as my husband speaks at various church gatherings.  And my own income from coaching keeps me floating.  It is so supernatural I can’t even tell you where it all comes from.   

My journey as a Life Purpose Coach is amazing too.  God seriously brings in the clients and it has been this way since the beginning of this career.  When my clientele gets low, I pray and ask God for more and He sends them.

All you have to do is let God know you are ready to reach out to people and He will send them.  No stress in that one.  He just sends them.  So, be watching or you will miss the opportunity.

thumb_colourbox1908348What one usually fears, at the root level, is a kind of death. We fear a death of a part of ourselves, the death of a job, the death of a move, death of an income, death of ourselves….and the list goes on.  When we think of certain big transitional periods in our lives, we often experience a lot of change.  Change invokes the death of something in our minds…the ending of something.

A change usually requires some letting go of old thoughts, behaviors, people, situations, and ways of being.  And then we can experience the new and fresh.  But if we let anxiety take over we become paralyzed and defeated.

The truth is that we won’t actually die, but somewhere within our psyche, we feel as though we are LITERALLY going to die.

Once we get past that initial fear and insert a healthy comforting tool, we can move towards the new.  We must, in turn, accept what we most fear.  You have to ask yourself…what is the worst that can happen?  

And within that answer comes reality.  I won’t die!

Here are 5 tools for you to begin to gain ground in this fight against fear.

1.  Admit to yourself that you are experiencing anxiety because if you deny it…it only gets worse.  Face it head on.  Make a decision to not react to it.  Instead focus on deep breathing.  Focus only on the breathing and Jesus.  Picture Him right beside you and breathe in His all encompassing peace, and breathe out the anxiety and fear.  Make sure the breaths are from your diaphragm and not your chest in shallow puffs.  Take a deep full breath in through your nose, making sure your belly expands on the inhale, and out through your mouth, and the belly contracts.

2.  Listen to sweet worship music and focus on the words. Drown out the fearful thoughts.

3.  Whisper the name of Jesus…the bible says that at the mention of that name, every knee has to bow, in heaven and in earth….this means that when you say His name, the enemy of fear can’t stay around…it has to leave…

…fear and perfect Love cannot dwell together.

 4.  Learn to train your mind to be on guard against the thoughts that come from–THE VOICE–and that voice usually comes from our enemy or just our own minds (and past voices that spoke negativity into our lives) where the enemy has planted his imagery of death.

 5.  When you feel the thoughts coming of impending doom, immediately start the breathing, the name of Jesus, and a favorite verse you can say over and over again.  And if you need it, put on that music!

Shoulder-Angel-and-DevilTwo thoughts cannot dwell in your mind at the same time.  One or the other has to go.  I choose to eradicate the fear thought.

Trust that, no matter what, within your new heart lies the ability to get through anything.  Trust Him–He will walk you through it.

So, that is how I have gotten through this death of the old in my life.  I still don’t know what the outcome of all this will be.  But I do know Jesus has a plan and it will unfold when He is ready to show it to me. 

Meanwhile, I can’t afford to let my mind wander into the unknown valley of fear for it will lead to a certain death of my peace.

426__550x413_jesus-and-peter-walking_on_waterThis is a battle with the principalities and powers of the air, the warfare for my life and the fight is not mine but His.  As long as I envelope myself in Him He will not let me sink into that raging sea.  

It is not complicated though we try to make it so, don’t we?  

There is no formula, no works, no traditions, nothing that we can fall back on that will move us out of anxiety and into the peace that passes all understanding…except His love.

He is Love itself, and He promises that He will NOT ever forsake us.  

….for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not,  [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]  Hebrews 13:5b Amp.

I will announce the winners of the free books on my next blog.  Read the last blog about the release of my newest book, 50 Ways to Meet Your Lover, and comment if you want to enter the drawing!

 

50 Ways to Meet Your Lover!~~ New Book Launch!

50-ways-to-meet-your-lover1-e139710312732150 Ways to Meet Your Lover, An Invitation Into a Captivating Daily Walk of Intimacy With Jesus, the Lover of Your Heart and Soul

My new book is launched today on Amazon!  Free book giveaway drawn from comments on this blog below!

The story of my life has been the story of a long and passionate pursuit for God.  He always came as the King in my story, and it was always to rescue my heart so I could live as a woman fully alive and completely captivated by my King

545570_417758148257124_357419294_n-1My most Intimate Stories Written For You. 

Because of a long childhood shrouded in pain and abuse, I pursued my King with all my heart from my earliest years because, somehow, I knew that He held the answers for my worth as a valuable human being.

Did you ever think Jesus could occupy the role of your lover?  Well, this book shows you 50 ways to do so.  What do you long for Jesus to do for you?  What places in your heart are crying out for healing and restoration and beauty?  Have you lost hope?

I see my journey through life as an adventure; a wild, passion-filled, full of love, full of many valleys and deserts, kind of adventure.  I refuse to see my life as mundane and I refuse to allow myself to think of myself as a victim of circumstances.  I don’t care how  hot the fires of a trial may be.

The reason we identify with fairy tales in some deep part of us is because they rest on three great truths: The hero really has a heart of gold, he is usually a Prince or a King, and his beloved possesses hidden beauty and greatness fit for royalty.  I want you to have a glimpse of Jesus’ golden heart.  I want you to know you possess greatness and honor.  This is how He sees you.

1506500_619449268111523_2092771554_nThe King is enthralled with your beauty! Ps. 45:11

This Jesus, this playful, fun, extravagant, and total lover of our deepest desires is enthralled by our beauty.

Imagine it!!

50 Ways to Meet Your Lover, is what I humbly share with you as we pursue this King, Prince, Friend, Redeemer, and Lover in a very real and personal way.  I hope you find it spiritual, deep, honest, transparent, vulnerable, inspirational, and humorous.

If you want to know how much you are loved by God, and if you want a closer walk with Him, I pray that my walk–with all of its peaks and valleys–can inspire you to know these very things, and truly give you joy and laughter along your own personal adventure with God.

I’ve written this memoir-driven devotional — with chapter by chapter daily stories from my own personal walk with Jesus~

~  in soul searching stories of discovery

~  find the real you : explore what feeds your soul

~  discover vulnerability and transparency to heal

~  understand how your personal story can be used to get you to the plans and purposes of God in your life

~  be inspired with faith and hope in never being alone on your journey

535697_353910861338135_812640802_nLet’s Celebrate!

FREE BOOK GIVE AWAY!

I WILL DRAW A NAME AT RANDOM FROM EVERYONE WHO COMMENTS  BELOW IN THE COMMENT SECTION OF THIS BLOG.

THE DRAWING WILL HE HELD A WEEK FROM THE DATE POSTED.

THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON MY NEXT BLOG

(I will notify you for your address)